Well, that depends on how you define a geek. By most measures, I certainly am one. I own multiple soldering irons. Just the other day, I trashpicked a broken stereo turntable and got it working again, and hooked it up to my computer so I can start recording MP3 files off my old LPs. And I think a lot about whether a kid unlike me might be happier, or have an easier life. As Dadwagon reader Alexander pointed out to us (thanks), I’m not the only dad wondering about this.
If a geek is a kid with a focused and single-minded interest in the inner workings of bugs or fish or microprocessors, you bet your ass that’s a good thing. The number of engineers and scientists coming out of the American school system is way lower than it ought to be, and when you subtract the overseas students who will go back home after they’re done with their schooling, we are facing a serious drought. (We’re doing great when it comes to producing Creationists, on the other hand.) If my kid tells me in a few years that he wants to be an icthyologist, we’re heading to the aquarium-supply shop the next Saturday morning.
But I suspect you think those interests come at a price. One does tend to find that people who so single-mindedly embrace any field, especially in the hard sciences, tend to be … how to put this nicely? … less sociable than their classmates. A lot of people believe that’s inherent. Computer geeks, it would seem to some, prefer coding to people, are more comfortable in the definable realms of silicon and NAND gates than in that of human emotions.
I don’t buy it, though. The fact is, I am the biggest geek you’ll meet, and I had my share of awkwardnesses as a teenager. (More than my share, actually. I bore the load of an entire nerdy regiment.) I have not forsaken my geekery, either. Yet I have carved out a career for myself in a business that values easy small talk, confident polish, and the ability to chat people up so smoothly they don’t know they’re giving up information till they’ve seen it in print. Those things may be learned, even in adulthood, the way I went at them.
All of which goes to say: My kid’s going to grow up among smart adults who’ll talk to him seriously. I have no doubt that he’ll be well enough socialized to get through whatever’s required of him. But if he also gets that (increasingly rare) gift of math and science ability, shot through with focus and determination, I’d be nuts to get in his way. He can worry about talking to girls a little later. If he’s really good at what he does, in fact, that won’t be a problem.
I’m not convinced we have much of a choice as to whether our kids will be geeks or not. All of mine are, just because it’s in their genes. They’re extremely curious and creative by nature. Of course, I help them along in this, simply because I can see its their bent and it’s always beneficial to help a child along their natural course.
By the way – I don’t believe being a geek is mutually exclusive with being a creationist. I’m both.
I don’t think I am a geek but not for any negative association with the distinction. I just think I am not smart, committed, single minded enough to make it. I would still be happy raising a geek and like what you said about having smart adults that take the kids seriously. What ever their passions having that foundation will serve them well.
My daughter is a bit like this. She is very single-minded when certain tasks are on her plate.
But she’s also funny, a bit loquacious, and has friends that are rather normal.
I feed what I can, and let her do the rest . . .
Great article, thanks for the ping! I like what you guys are doing here, definitely will spread the word.
I think there is a geek in every kid, at least when it comes to the phases of single-mindedness that a majority of kids go through: trucks, dinosaurs, various fictional universes, etc.
But it’s interesting that the go-to examples like those above are *typically* boy-centric. Maybe thinking about kids as geeks can be really helpful for those parents who shudder at their girls’ fixations. Can we re-code Disney princess obsessions as “geeking out”? If it includes cataloguing princess names, types, gear, catch-phrases, trivia, etc. it seems a lot like the kid who can name every kind of service truck or, say, describe in detail the intricate social network of the Star Wars universe.
I’m thinking DadWagon would do well to add an US Weekly inspired feature: “Kids! They’re Just Like Geeks!”