My post on super-kids from earlier today (combined with a screaming case of procrastination) have motivated me to scour the Internet in search of other, equally nausea-inducing examples of too-perfect children. Below are links to some of my favorites, but I would love to hear suggestions from our readers, too:
We must of course not forget the Osmonds, for they are freaky and freakily dress:
I’m also including the Incredibles, mostly because putting your kids in extravagant harm’s way seems wrong, and because Holly Hunter has a kinda sexy twang. I’m sick, I know.
At the risk of being offensive, I’m going with The Baby Jesus. Did that kid ever get a free day? Did he? And if you’re not impressed by the various miracles and whatnot, not to mention the Immaculate Conception, well, there’s nothing to be done for you.
How about this supposedly fattest kid on the planet—that’s kinda impressive, and to top it off the video is in German, which lends it a certain weird quality that seems Internet list-worthy:
Don’t like my suggestions? Beat ’em.
My all-time personal fave; Todd Marinovich. Jesus’ dad was also pretty hard on his son, but hey he stepped up.
Scottstev–Funny thing, I was at USC at the same time as him. Lots of stories about his partying. Sad stuff. Total agreement on the God thing, too. Old school parenting.–Theodore.
One last one. These twins will totally kick your kid’s ass. Not my kid, because I’m enrolling him in BJJ as soon as he’s six. But woe be unto these adorable moppets if somehow they don’t become MMA standouts as adults. At least they’ll have the overuse injuries and <i dementia pugilistica for their trouble.
Yes, I have a male-crush on you and all the other Wagoneers. And no, it’s not entirely platonic. I’m ok with that.
This is such a great snippet of German TV–they love to get the fat American kid on the news so they can feel superior.