Oh, this is hilarious. An outfit called the Hotchkiss Brain Institute is saying that new dads start producing new brain cells.
I have no idea about how good their science is, especially from this little press report. I also know perfectly well that more brain cells does not equal better brain cells–otherwise, elephants and whales would be running the world. And that the conventional view that we get dumber as we age and shed brain cells, or kill them off with alcohol, or whatever, is hopelessly oversimplified. (As I understand it–which is to say, superficially and not necessarily correctly–we lose cells over time but add interconnections, which matter more.)
That said, the clear implication here is that fatherhood makes us smarter, and that’s where I dissent. More empathetic, maybe, but brainier? The past year, with minimal sleep and constant distraction, has been the least informed, the least thoughtful, the most distracted of my life. I can barely focus on anything printed for more than a few thousand words, which is kind of a liability in an editor (though dandy in a blogger). My memory has gone completely to hell. I have to write everything down in notes to myself or it’s gone, poof. I forget people’s names on the way to meet with them. I lose track of conversations in midstream. I drop key parts of explanations, baffling those around me. The other day, while working on a story and interviewing a source by phone, I so lost the thread of my own question that I had to just abandon ship and ask something else entirely. I lose things around the house that I never lost before. My head is an absolute sieve…huh! Hey, look! Over there! Something shiny!!! Oooh. What was I talking about?
We’re forced to grow new brain cells to try and outsmart our kids. Little buggers really keep us on our toes
The new brain cells just make us think about different things. I am much more attuned to household hazards and filth. I feel a little muddleheaded in terms of reading and conversing, but it doesn’t bother me. There must be some kind of anesthetizing property to the new cells that puts the old cells into hibernation.
They say that pregnancy makes one stupider. That was certainly my experience. Hormones? Fatigue? The giant parasite sapping the nutrients from your blood, the oxygen from your brain, and the minerals from your bones? Many also suspect you never get back what you lose during this time. And now maybe dads are also susceptible? It therefore must be simply a matter of proximity to the very young (fetuses etc). I have in fact recognized in my husband alarmingly similar symptoms to what Christopher described (oh wait, he was like that when we met).