I know I shouldn’t go looking for nuggets of wisdom in the (virtual) halls of our nation’s capital, but something about the URL compelled me to avoid my deadlines and browse. That URL? Fatherhood.gov, the website of the National Responsible Fatherhood Clearinghouse.
Honestly, I didn’t want to make fun of this site. Clearly it fulfills some policy initiative or other, and it certainly doesn’t look very expensively designed. I just can’t stand my tax dollars going to froofy Flash animation. But… But then I read things like this, from the “Child Development Info” page:
Each stage of your child’s life is special. Infants and toddlers all the way up to adolescence there are developmental and social steps and stages. Learning about these and keeping track with them can help you guide your kids and help keep you involved.
This may be true, but this is terrible, terrible writing—up with which I will not put! I love hate to be so pedantic, but I do appreciate having my government-sponsored Websites copy-edited. “Infants and toddlers all the way up to adolescence there are…”?!? I can’t go on.
But go on I must! Fatherhood.gov, do you have some parenting tips for me?
Take Time to Be a Dad Today Tips
Watch a game on television with your children. Cheer for your favorite team and chat about the plays. Mute the commercials and use those minutes to talk about what’s going on in your lives.
Green Dads Tips
Buy compact florescent light (CFL) bulbs, which last about 5 years and use less energy. Switching just one standard bulb to a CFL can help you reduce your electricity bill by as much as 75 cents per month.
Well, those were sure helpful! Thanks, government!
I browsed this site the other day, but didn’t have as keen an eye as you. That’s good stuff.
I read somewhere that this responsible fathers campaign is costing taxpayers $500 million, so far, looks like money well spent!
Eric must be right. 500 million seems like the bare minimum the government could spend on a website 1/10 as informative as any of ours! 🙂 Oh, and we’re better writers.
“Tell your child that we have always been at war with Eastasia.”
Wow, $500 million? I’m sure we here at DadWagon could do something at least as good for, say, $350 million. Damn no-bid contracts!
Hmm, perhaps I should write for the .gov’s. Here’s a few more tips that would fit right in:
– Say something positive to your children at least once a week.
– Eat a meal with your child. Ask them how their day was. Wear your interested-face when they tell you.
– Demonstrate proper urination technique to your male children.
– Bathe your children. Talk about the importance of personal hygiene.
– Don’t yell at your children unless it’s absolutely necessary. If you do yell, use it as an opportunity to demonstrate the use of the diaphragm in projecting your voice more forcefully.