Before I address my attributes as a parent (as Matt asked me to this morning), I want to point out that Mr. Gross seems to be fairly happy with himself of late, no? Not only would he choose to be his own child—an oddly incestuous notion—as evidenced in his earlier post; what’s more, he has a parenting routine that his colleagues, friends, and parenting strangers would “probably kill to have.” (Kill him?)
Even if I felt as Matt did, I would consider whether or not I wanted to express it as baldly as he has chosen. Call me superstitious, or just a guy who’s been reading a lot of Old Testament for his book, but: Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.
This, in blogging parlance, is known as starting a pissing match.
As to me:
1. No.
- a. I would prefer a father who is wealthier, smarter, and more successful.
- b. If I know JP, I’d rather have a father who would let me play Nintendo DS without the current restrictions.
- c. Ellie only loves me when I give her a binkie.
- d. New York City—the school in Minnesota where my brother sends his children has a petting zoo.
2. All of it.
- a. Silly question. I am responsible for the facts of my offspring’s existence, even the ones I don’t control.
Bottom line is that nothing is perfect, certainly not me. Given free rein, my kids could probably find a better father. The nice-tragic-absurd reality is that I’m all they’re ever going to get.
FWIW, I didn’t say that “many parents” would kill to have my routine. I meant that we usually get through our routine fairly easily (except for the ride home on the subway, a predictably nightmarish affair), and that the ease is worth killing for. I’d hardly hold up our system as a model. Whatever works for you—and keeps you from infanticide/uxoricide/homicide.