Fear and Loathing in Preschool

So the teachers at J.P.’s preschool told my ex that one of the youngsters in his class was “acting out” yesterday and that he gouged J.P.’s face with a toy, drawing blood. Wisely, I suppose, the teachers declined to share the name of the boy who did this, but since J.P. immediately told me (Forest), I was able to begin drafting my plans for his annihilation. Poor Forest (Gump?). Your days are numbered.

Later that night, as J.P. and I were at home designing elaborate train wrecks with J.P.’s Thomas set on the living room floor, J.P. matter-of-factly announced that he was “afraid of the broken whistle.”

Did young Forest strike J.P. with a broken whistle? I tend to doubt it, but you never know. More likely, however, this was one of these odd phrases J.P. just tosses out there every once in a while. A few months ago it was “the robot in my closet crushed my hand.” This was followed by “I’m sick. I have a cough.” (accompanied by demonic laughing—well, not really.)

Part of me wonders if these are an expression of sublimated fear, or Jungian outbursts of his still-developing psyche, or even some subtle acting-out of his disturbance at my divorce. Or he just be he’s afraid of whistles and robots.

You tell me.

Published by Theodore

Theodore Ross is an editor of Harper’s Magazine. His writing has appeared in Harper’s, Saveur, Tin House, the Mississippi Review, and (of course), the Vietnam News. He grew up in New York City by way of Gulfport, MS, and as a teen played the evil Nazi, Toht, in Raiders of the Lost Ark: The Adaptation. He lives with his son, J.P. in Brooklyn, and is currently working on a book about Crypto-Jews.

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