Fighting your Kid’s Fights

In the crowded, colicky waiting room at Nico’s pediatrician’s office, I was mostly concerned about the syringe-ambush I was about to let happen to my baby’s upper thighs. That’s right, H1N1 vaccine finally reached Manhattan yesterday–an event that should be marked by some sort of commemoration, maybe like National Infant Immunization Week but with a beer and a bump.

But then, as often happens when I’m around lots of other families, my thoughts turned to the weirdness that is parenting. Particularly, the inability of parents to let kids solve their own conflicts. There were a lot of toddlers, and a lot of toys, and a hint of illness in the air, so yes, there was some tussle over who got to play with what. Some toy frogs were grabbed, some plastic Elmos were yanked. But the kids were all about the same size and just not that aggressive. It was no Dien Bien Phu.

But still the parents couldn’t help but micromanage the situation. Put that down, ask him nicely, please give him the toy back to my son. Not just correctives for their own kid, but also reffing the other kids as well to make sure that everybody played by the rules.

Holy Christ, people. Just let ’em play. And don’t get involved in your kid’s fights. Otherwise you’re gonna get this gem of a misdemeanor they’re talking about over at Strollerderby. Apparently some mom got some naked pictures that her daughter’s homecoming rival had taken of herself (you know, sexting; all the cool kids are doing it). The mom, though, took the pics to the police and then to the school in an attempt to get her daughter’s rival disqualified from homecoming. Full details here. Read them, they’re lovely.

Published by Nathan

Nathan Thornburgh is a contributing writer and former senior editor at TIME Magazine who has also written for the New York Times, newyorker.com and, of course, the Phnom Penh Post. He suspects that he is messing up his kids, but just isn’t sure exactly how.

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