I Hate… I Mean Heart Forest Kindergarten

Nothing really critical to say about this Times article on the Waldorf School “Forest Kindergarten” (“For Forest Kindergartners, Class Is Back to Nature, Rain or Shine”) in Sarasota Springs, New York, other than that’s exactly the life I want for my son, but one that for many reasons (my job, my divorce, my lack of money) he won’t get.

For city-fathers incapable of teaching their children how to fish, hunt, fix cars, fix lights, fix toilets, fix anything other than a souffle–read it and weep:

The children’s “classroom” is 325 acres of state parkland known as the Hemlock Trail, and a long-empty farmhouse, which the state has licensed Waldorf to use for the year. The school also has regular indoor classes at its main building.

On this day in the fledgling program, whose tuition is about $7,000, the rain did not taper off, yet the kindergartners remained outside until lunch. Circle time — songs and dancing — took place in the center of a field, behind a farmhouse, followed by a snack of apples and pineapple chunks at picnic tables. The children cut bittersweet vine to make wreaths, splashed in puddles, and, in the sandbox, did some imaginary cooking.

Here in Saratoga Springs, the children crossed into the forest at midmorning, greeted by the rich smell of earth and leaves. A fallen branch had created an arch to climb through as if they were entering a hidden place straight out of a storybook.

Note the seven grand above. That would buy a cup of coffee at most elite prep schools in the city. Don’t believe me? Check, here, here, and oh yeah, here (my alma mater, Columbia Prep, home of the $33,000 motherfucking pre-k ).

Published by Theodore

Theodore Ross is an editor of Harper’s Magazine. His writing has appeared in Harper’s, Saveur, Tin House, the Mississippi Review, and (of course), the Vietnam News. He grew up in New York City by way of Gulfport, MS, and as a teen played the evil Nazi, Toht, in Raiders of the Lost Ark: The Adaptation. He lives with his son, J.P. in Brooklyn, and is currently working on a book about Crypto-Jews.

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