The Tantrum: Is It Wrong to Raise a Geek? Part 4

Not that kind of geek!
Not that kind of geek!

Yes—and, of course, no.

I’ll start with no. In school, I was, in all honesty, not really a geek. I was president of the school my senior year, captain of the soccer team, lead in the play, and while I wasn’t necessarily a sex-god, I did have a date to the prom, she was gorgeous, and I felt confident enough to take her in a taxi (shockingly, I didn’t get laid).

The problem with all of this didn’t really come until I went to college. I attended a tiny Manhattan prep school, filled with non-threatening kids who I’d been in classes with since junior high. That soccer team? We played in a 90 percent nebbish Jewish league. The wrestling team, which I was also on, competed against the School for the Blind — and I lost.

My college, however, was in the PAC-10, and my adjustment from big shot to schmuck wasn’t easy. I recovered, eventually, but I think my life in college would have been more fun if I didn’t assume that the cool kids would always come to, and include, me.

In that light, encouraging a little geekery in JP is probably a good thing. Let him play Dungeons and Dragons. Motivate him with electronics and pocket protectors. Model U.N. anyone?

On the yes side of the ledger is this: it’s wrong to try to exert too much agency over who the child is going to be. JP is going to be JP, hopefully, regardless of the various ways he gets fucked up his parents, teachers, and all the other role models (television) that he encounters. Having a plan in mind is unhealthy, and even smacks a bit of hubris. What if he isn’t a good geek, after all?

Published by Theodore

Theodore Ross is an editor of Harper’s Magazine. His writing has appeared in Harper’s, Saveur, Tin House, the Mississippi Review, and (of course), the Vietnam News. He grew up in New York City by way of Gulfport, MS, and as a teen played the evil Nazi, Toht, in Raiders of the Lost Ark: The Adaptation. He lives with his son, J.P. in Brooklyn, and is currently working on a book about Crypto-Jews.

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1 Comment

  1. “What if he isn’t a good geek after all?” You’ve touched a nerve, and tapped into every dad’s deepest fear: that his kid will grow up preferring the “Star Wars” prequels over the originals.

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