Children: the awful truth

cherubs--fallen-angelsI would like all two of you readers out there in Dadwagon land to consider the image here and ask yourself: Are your little ones actually angels or the cross-eyed smoking/drinking fallen-angel types?

I do not intend to pass judgment on your sweet punk(in), but in case you’re not sure, I would like to leave you with three, admittedly old, statistics from the Harper’s Index:

  1. Percentage of U.S. children who say their greatest wish for their parents is that they make more money : 23
  2. Percentage who say their greatest wish for their parents is that they “spend more time with me”: 11
  3. Percentage of parents who predicted that their children would prefer more time with them: 56

I think of this only because last night JP forbid me to sit next to him at the dinner table (I overruled) and then later told me I wasn’t his best friend (Curious George was). He did, however, want me around when it was time to wipe his bottom.

Such is the life we have chosen.

Published by Theodore

Theodore Ross is an editor of Harper’s Magazine. His writing has appeared in Harper’s, Saveur, Tin House, the Mississippi Review, and (of course), the Vietnam News. He grew up in New York City by way of Gulfport, MS, and as a teen played the evil Nazi, Toht, in Raiders of the Lost Ark: The Adaptation. He lives with his son, J.P. in Brooklyn, and is currently working on a book about Crypto-Jews.

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2 Comments

  1. So, it’s okay to leave our kids alone while we go out to make more money. Because they think we are spending enough time with them already. 🙂

    My daughter is still is the phase where she says “but I love you more than daddy!”. I am sure it won’t last.

  2. Teri–who knows. The stat, to me, is less about the specifics, and more that it hints a world from which our children, even at the earliest age, exclude us. That, and you know, lies, damn lies…and the Harper’s Index (exclaimer: which is rigorously reported and fact-checked).

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