The baby is crying and crying and crying. She’s clinging to her father, grimacing in terror, while around her awkwardly stand four other toddlers, plastic cars in their fat hands, looks of perplexity on their round faces. What is going through their minds? I wonder, glad that the crying child isn’t actually mine. My Sasha is one of the watchers, and soon she turns away, walks over to a miniature table and overturns a box of toys.
This is Sasha’s first day of day care (unlike Nate’s and Ted’s kids, Sasha’s not old enough to be rejected from universal pre-K), and she seems utterly indifferent to the fact that five minutes ago her mother left and that in another five I’ll be gone too. She’s her usual outgoing, independent self, and is delighted to find chairs she can climb up into and a new batch of books to rend and consume. So what if Mom and Dad won’t be around? There’s fun to be had!
Isn’t it supposed to be harder than this? In preparation for today, I’ve been reading various Websites for advice—give the kid a favorite toy or favorite food, bring a family photo the teacher can show her—and we’ve been carefully referring to it as “school” not “day care” or “babysitting.” And we limited our time in the classroom so she wouldn’t expect us to be there all day.
Huh. I guess those things work. The only thing we weren’t prepared for is that Sasha wouldn’t really need us around.
Of course, this is still her first day. I’m half-expecting to pick her up this evening and find the classroom a shambles, the teacher wounded and bald, the other kids cowering in fear of Sasha, and the administrator holding up a large check and asking me never to return. Stay tuned…
Big day! Sounds like you are coping well though. All the best for the pickup.
We’ve had Elise fulltime in ‘school’ for 6 months now. It’s got to the point where she’s really happy and excited to arrive there in the morning, but she’s also really excited when we arrive to take her home. We’re fortunate, but it’s a really nice situation.
I think way too much is made of “phasing in.” in the cases where the kid freaks out, it’s usually the parent who needed to be phased. most kids freaking love daycare. it’s toy city, they get unlimited snacks, and the teachers are way softer than the parents.
At 12mos our in-home daycare went suddenly south, so we had to put our daughter into “emergency care” at the first place that would take her (thankfully, a very good [if pricey] daycare with a corprate affiliation to the University my husband and I work at). We did not get a half-day “play visit” with the parents, or leave photos, of a favorite toy/blanket (she doesn’t have a security object), or do any transitional thing at all. She cried so hard for 2 weeks straight her voice nearly gave out. It was awful!
Thankfully, now, she’s usually really happy to be there. They start her right off with morning snack; half the time I think she just can’t wait for us to leave so she can eat!
Here in Sweden, all kids start daycare between 12 and 24 months. And everyone gets about a one to two week “in schooling” they call it. So parents go every day and then start leaving a little longer and a little longer.
Seems to work, though since our in schooling took a little longer, I got to see the mass chaos of a yard full of screaming toddlers. I think on some level this is the dirty secret the teachers try to hide from us – the mass wailing and despair that goes on for a good while.
My kid loves it now, of course. But I must admit that it made me wish I could stay home longer. You know, kindergarten seems right.
My daughter had the exact same great first day at daycare just before she turned 1. She’s now 2 1/2 and still loving daycare. It’s almost always a pretty good day, except when she’s beginning to get sick (which you should expect). It sounds like you have an outgoing little girl, she’s going to have a blast and you’ll get to hear all the funny stories about her “preschool friends”. Just so you know, if one of the classmates ever has to leave the daycare for any reason, like a move, they are on “vacation”.
She is probably just relieved to not be stuck crying in a bar.