Like a lot of media people (and with apologies to Dadwagoneer Matt), I have a love-hate relationship with the New York Times. Its newsgathering ability is peerless, its authority as solid as any–and its news hole is so big that, at least once a day, there’s a story in its pages that makes you slap your forehead and say Why are they publishing this? Today’s d’oh moment comes from the Thursday Styles section, where we all learned that baby slings are de mode, and that fancy strollers are so 2007. And that a few overexcitable overparenting types have concocted the idea that the only way to bond with your child is to have him or her bound to your body, at all times. (When you add up sling time with co-sleeping, the kid could be in physical contact with you 24/7, which they must think is some sort of tribal ideal.)
Look, I’ve worked on a lot of trend stories in my life, both good and bad. I know how a writer or editor’s everyday experience can loom large enough to seem persuasive: “All of a sudden, everyone I know bought one of these things!” But I also know the signs of a trumped-up “controversy,” and after a thousand words or so, I encountered the following sentence:
Among most new parents, however, feelings about baby carriers are less inflamed.
For a lay audience, let me translate: That means “three people with too much time on their hands–one of whom knows me–natter on about this nonstop, evoking the worst cliche of the obsessive, hyperbolic nightmare urbanite, and everyone else shrugs with indifference.”
Right on point with this. Nice job man.
There is a fantastic scene in the movie Away we Go that speaks to this where a character says of the stroller “Why would I want to push my child away from me”
Um… this was made fun of in “Away We Go”.
i totally don’t get that. i worry that the next generation will be a bunch of softies, scared to stand up for themselves and unable to change a tire. (i know, very mosquito coast of me).
hey, at least having triplets rendered such an approach impossible, even if we wanted to, right?
I have a few in my acquaintance that are basically the type lampooned by Maggie Gyllenhaal’s character in _Away We Go_. I even live in the city that is the backdrop for the film’s satire of (extreme) attachment parenting. My kid hated the sling and wrap style carriers, H-A-T-E-D, and I constantly got variations of: “This is the natural way to transport babies, so if he dislikes it YOU are doing something wrong.” One woman actually told me that H was “sensing” my “hesitation” and that if I was more confident in my baby-wearing he’d fall “right to sleep!” I. Call. Bullshit.
That said, I also am rolling my eyes at the recent “slings will kill your infants!” hysteria. The kind of sling that’s to blame for all the (tragic, awful, unfathomable) deaths is one of those cheaply made baby purses sold at big-box stores. It shouldn’t take baby-wearing, a practice I think is completely legitimate (though my kid preferred the even more old fashioned arms-only approach) down with it.
(all of this is a little off-topic, I really just meant to say: yes! I agree with the commenter above, your translation? right on the money)
No apologies necessary, Chris. As a quasi-employee of the paper, I probably have a deeper love-hate relationship with it than anyone — I can certainly understand your feelings.
Re slings: We use our Ergo carrier on a semi-regular basis, but… it’s really hot. That’s my only problem with slings. It’s like having a small furnace attached to your front or back. Comforting, yes, but then you’ve got a bit wet sweat spot on your shirt. At least, I hope that’s sweat! Yuck.
When I read this article (NYT, not yours) my eyes did a Ringwald-worthy roll. Slow news day?
“Babywearer” that I was, (my youngest is nearly 3) I was just relieved to have equipment to help me keep a kid on my back, breast or hip and continue to do the things I was expected to do … cook dinner, help older kids on playground equipment, push a stroller, catch a bus.
However, just like my choice to have my first kid in hospital and the next two at home, to experiment with full-on and modified diaperfree traditions, to breastfeed, immunize or not, or hell, furnish my house exclusively with items made from Duplo, the discourse — and conflicts — surrounding each decision just made it hard to tune in to my own intuition.