Johnny’s Little Helper

Nathan’s fine post detailing the scourge of anti-male discriminatory practices in our public school system (that’s a fair characterization, no?) made me think of some of the experiences I have been having with my son.

Now, before I get too far into this, I want to make it clear–I don’t subscribe to a Real Boys view of the world. No virulent feminist forces marshaling to crush the spirit of  our little men haunt my imagination. And as someone who can barely change a light bulb, the conventional male prerogatives can go threatened without any great weeping on my part. JP is not now, nor do I sense that he ever will be, a victim of anti-boy bias.

That said, I do notice a tendency to diagnose what seems to be not-abnormal bouts of rambunctious behavior on his part.

At the last parent-teacher conference, JP’s truly wonderful (seriously) pre-school teacher, whom JP adores, basically gave me a sit-down on JP’s inability to sit still, focus on anything other than toys, and essentially implied that he–along with several other male cronies–were an obstacle to the overall educational environment. A lovely child, she said, but just unable to control his impulses physically, particularly in a high-stimulus, group environment. She recommended occupational therapy.

Again, I like this woman and so does JP. But occupational therapy because the kid has ants in his pants? It seemed a rather heavy-handed suggestion, I thought, and I told her so. She replied that she hadn’t intended it that way, and that these days in fact, lots of children (the examples she gave me were all boys) go to occupational therapy. If my insurance didn’t cover it, there was actually a free program through the Board of Education. That program, it turned out, was Pre-School Special Education… because JP couldn’t sit still.

I didn’t know what to make of it. At that age, occupational therapy is mostly just directed play. No harm in that, and if the city wants to pay for it, well, hey, it’s my tax money, right? I feared the slippery slope, however. Now JP couldn’t sit still so he should get therapy; next, he’s having trouble being quiet in class and he won’t wait his turn in the cafeteria, and the suggestion is Ritalin; and so on, until I become one of those over-medicating parents people always sneer at and say man, just anyone can breed, huh?

I don’t have a shred of evidence about this, mind you, but again, this largely seems directed at male behavior that not so long ago wouldn’t even have been noteworthy. Do I think, as Nathan argued, that male teachers might help prevent this form of tracking? I don’t really know. I tend to think dearth of male teachers can be attributed more to the male notion that its women’s work than anything else. If we want more male teachers then more men must want to teach. Besides, I’m less focused on that level of solution than I am on advocating for what I think is best for my son.

So, no therapy for JP. If he can’t sit still in “circle time,” well, then maybe he should go sit in the corner until he’s ready to play nice. I’ll save the therapy for me.