I left my bike at work last Friday, which meant that this morning I drove JP to school (yes, I could have taken the bus, but come on–I’m a man here, folks). Anyway, as I think is fairly customary at schools in Brooklyn, the traffic cops allow parents dropping off their children to double park …
Continue reading “Don’t Judge Me By My Outrageous Status Symbols”
One morning a couple of weeks ago, I was the parent who got up to take care of Sasha. I was early, actually, and arrived in her room before she’d started crying out for company, and I found her sitting in her crib, a worried look on her face. She stared at me and said, …
If you are a Real American, your weekend probably didn’t look too different from mine: serrated animal carcasses over blistering coals, five gallons of something that looked like it might be coleslaw, and a low-level explosives show, the kind that would likely make you and your family victims of a Predator strike if you were living …
Q: If you cheated on your wife with another woman, and got her pregnant, and she never told you about it and then gave the baby up for adoption, and then told you about it, how would you react? A: It doesn’t matter one bit, because the wife (as in, my wife) who’s asking you …
