Wrecking Lives, Skipping Town

HONG KONG INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT—I’m now 20-something hours into a journey from Brooklyn to Chengdu, China, and I’m sleep-deprived, thirsty, and a good five hours from my final destination. Yes, once again, I’m abandoning my family to go “work” abroad, stuffing my face with spicy Sichuan food and, I think, taking notes.

Still, I did what I could to put in as much family time as possible before I left. Saturday was a playdate with another couple and their child on the other side of Prospect Park, followed by a schmancy wedding. Sunday was a drive upstate to go apple-picking. (Incidentally, was there anyone who didn’t go apple-picking last weekend? At least three of my Facebook friends went, and doubtless many more went but didn’t post. What did people do in October before U Pick It was invented? How else did they get 50 apples for just $12.50?) Oh, and I delivered Theodore a car seat he couldn’t install.

The thing is, it took me a while to figure out how weekends are supposed to function. Not all that long ago, I used to try to write on weekends, to set aside a couple of hours to pound the keyboard. But it was always a hassle, and I always felt guilty for half-neglecting my family and half-neglecting my work. Finally, I had to choose—and, you know, I chose my family. Cuz that’s what you’re supposed to do, right?

Anyway, watch this space over the next two weeks for my incisive observations on parenthood in China. How will I say “househusband” in Mandarin? What kind of strollers will I spot? What percentage of Chinese milk is made of melamine these days?

As Jean told me before I left, “Don’t eat anything made of feces.”

Words to live by, folks. Words to live by.

Published by Matt

Matt Gross writes about travel and food for the New York Times, Saveur, Gourmet, and Afar, where he is a Contributing Writer. When he’s not on the road, he’s with his wife, Jean, and daughter, Sasha, in Boerum Hill, Brooklyn.

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