A Year on the Wagon: Dadwagon Turns 1, Learns to Walk, Bonks Head

Remember back, if you will, to those halcyon days of autumn 2009: Superfetation was all the rage, Disney was offering refunds on Baby Einstein, “My Sister’s Keeper” was (almost) driving air passengers to tears, and—if you can believe this—America was still debating the merits of mass vaccination.

And, in a little-frequented corner of the Internet, four sleep-deprived journalists gathered to give birth—in a tub of warm water, surrounded by doulas, with no epidurals to numb the pain—to that most important of journalistic endeavors: a blog. A dad blog.

Dadwagon.com opened its virtual doors for theoretical business a year ago today (roughly today, if you don’t count our October test-posts or the face that the first Monday in that November was November 2). And since that fateful date, well, need we recount the splendiferous changes that have come over not just the site’s four proprietors (billionaires now, all of them, except Theodore, whose ex-wife ensured he remains half-a-billionaire) but also the nation, which has entered into a veritable new Age of Gold, with business resurgent, the arts a-flourish, and spouses of all stripes understanding—nay, encouraging—of the occasional, or not-so-occasional, romantic indiscretion.

Or, well, maybe Dadwagon is actually just the bright point in an increasingly miserable world—an island of enlightened parenting in an ocean of anger and opprobrium. We brought forth upon this digital continent what we hoped would be a smart, if sarcastic, retort to the insane pressures faced by fathers everywhere, and while far too often we wrote lazily; stole ideas from other, more successful blogs; and generally advocated positions hazardous to the health of minors, we’re pretty much satisfied with what we’ve accomplished.

Part of that comes from the support that you, our beloved readers, have shown us. Though we’ve done our best to alienate you, you’ve kept clicking back here again and again, writing comments whose wit and eloquence make our own blog posts pale into insignificance. Who knows why you continue to read us, but we’re thankful (and slightly paranoid: what do you want from us?). On the plus side, we have managed to drive away potential advertisers, so there’s that.

What will the future bring for Dadwagon? Most immediately, one of our number is departing; Christopher will be explaining his next moves in an upcoming post, but for now let’s say we’re terribly sorry to see him go. His deep nerdiness, love of obsolete photography, and spotless copy will be greatly missed at Dadwagon HQ, not to mention among our readers. Also, he had a really cool apartment where I guess we won’t be having brunch anymore.

In his absence, we’ll start with some guest-blogging to fill space and complement the ongoing efforts of Nathan, Theodore, and Matt to document the ruining of their children’s lives. First up, later today, is Todd Pruzan, the editor of Currency, a personal finance site, and the type of irresponsible dad who moves his brood to the suburbs in search of affordable living and better schools. What a dick. Look for him to defend the indefensible later today.

Apart from that, nothing much will change here on the Wagon. We will continue to insult each other, exploit and endanger our kids, curse indiscriminately, ignore our paid gigs, and wallow in ignominy—and meanwhile, you might as well continue to read and encourage us, furthering an abusive cycle of co-dependance that will poison all our bloodlines for generations to come. Thanks a lot.