The Tantrum: Should DadWagon Move to New Jersey? Part 1

Great-Seal-of-the-State-of-New-Jersey-plaque

Given the presence on the site this week of Todd–guest blogger, swell fellow, and Jersey resident–I feel compelled to ask a few simple questions of my fellow DadWagoners:

  • What the hell are we doing in New York?
  • Are we gluttons for punishment? Masochists? Opera lovers?
  • Shouldn’t we all just sell our meager holdings on the proper side of the Hudson, and skedaddle for the swamps, pine barrens, chemical dumps, and gangster graveyards of the Garden State?

The reasons to go are patently obvious: (relatively) affordable homes; adequate schools; and of course, the gas, the lovely, sweet petrol, is always full-serve, by law! What’s not to love?

For me, though, the answer is, no, we should not move to New Jersey, and largely because it would be a breach of contract if I did so. My divorce agreement stipulates where I can live (to prevent one parent from moving out of state, or the like, and thereby making it impossible for the other one to see JP), and New Jersey isn’t on the list of acceptable neighborhoods (then again, Queens isn’t either, but Manhattan is–you figure out that logic). But would I go if I could? I don’t really know. The idea of it doesn’t seem all that appealing–the traffic at the Holland Tunnel, the spray-on tans–but without it being a possibility, it’s hard to say what I’d do.

So, I will leave the residential existentialism to my colleagues. Boys, I put it to you: Meadowlands or bust?

Published by Theodore

Theodore Ross is an editor of Harper’s Magazine. His writing has appeared in Harper’s, Saveur, Tin House, the Mississippi Review, and (of course), the Vietnam News. He grew up in New York City by way of Gulfport, MS, and as a teen played the evil Nazi, Toht, in Raiders of the Lost Ark: The Adaptation. He lives with his son, J.P. in Brooklyn, and is currently working on a book about Crypto-Jews.

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3 Comments

  1. I’ve considered that move too. In addition to the reasons you mention, NJ state income tax are lower than NY state income tax. Also if you find a way to do most of your work at home in NJ, you don’t have to pay as much New York City income tax.

    I think you should reconsider parts of Queens though. 🙂 I currently live in Astoria and think it’s the best value neighborhood in all of NYC. Great restaurants, real ethnic diversity, much cheaper housing than Manhattan and Brooklyn and close proximity to midtown Manhattan.

  2. I thought he meant that the divorce settlement only prevented him from moving out of state but that living in Queens was not “acceptable” because it wasn’t cool enough.

    Brooklyn may have better pizza but Queens has better Asian food. I guess it all depends on what’s more important to you. I don’t think there’s anything better about being in NJ though. 😉

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