‘Take Care of Your Baby’ and Other Advice From Guys in Bars

Because it’s a slow day and we’re already edging toward late afternoon, I thought I’d present you a somewhat amusing post from TheHairpin.com, which (full disclosure) is run by my officemate. In this soul-searing dispatch, Carrie Hill Wilner (married, with a child) describes marriage and parenting advice she’s received from guys trying to pick her up in bars. Example:

This one guy at a houseparty thinks you should probably work, because his sister left her job and she just totally let herself go and it’s not like she could afford to. But, counterpoint! This other guy at the houseparty thinks it was really key that his mom stayed home and now he’s strong and secure and wouldn’t let any girl of his who had legs like yours out of his sight (see also, you married the wrong guy, supra). Good job, Mom!

And there you go. Clearly, Carrie’s big mistake was not turning first to Dadwagon, where you find all the answers to any parenting dilemma you might face. Next time, Carrie, you know where to turn.

Published by Matt

Matt Gross writes about travel and food for the New York Times, Saveur, Gourmet, and Afar, where he is a Contributing Writer. When he’s not on the road, he’s with his wife, Jean, and daughter, Sasha, in Boerum Hill, Brooklyn.

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