By and large I’m gonna say, Hanna Rosin notwithstanding, that it’s still a pretty good deal being an hombre, even if we have to undergo certain fundamental religious procedures to ensure hygiene (while potentially losing sensitivity).
Yet from time to time here at DadWagon we seem to position ourselves as an aggrieved minority: no one cares about fathers; women rule the household like tyrants; men don’t get equal bonding leave; blah, blah, blah.
We know it’s not true. Men still have it easy. We still get to get drunk with our babies more than the ladies; we still get to punk out on household chore; we still get to have toys the ladies and the children aren’t allowed to touch. And you know what else?
WE DON’T HAVE TO JOIN MOMMY GROUPS. Thank god for that. I wonder who thought this whole practice up? It strikes me as more than slightly insane. Consider: women with newborns, hard up for sleep, neurotic over breastfeeding, in full panic about diaper rash, gather together in cafes to speak ill of their male partners. Fun!
Worse, it seems to bring out the part of the female personality that concerns itself with disliking other women. Tomoko’s stories about getting involved in a mother’s group sound like case studies in passive aggression, tribal resentment, and bald-faced, feeding-bra-ed, cut-throat competition.
If all the mothers in a mommy’s group hate all of the other mothers in the mommy’s group, why then is there a mommy’s group?
Riddle me that friends. Riddle me that.
Well, women seem to love to engage in catty activities. I often hear/read them say otherwise but they still do it so I wonder….
I am lucky in this department, in that I’m not working to get in our out of the momfia. But having just visited a friend in Portland, OR, it is cut-throat there – waiting lists, background checks, dietary laws – blather, squak, etc.
I can share that when I was on maternity leave, I loved getting together with friends who were also on leave because otherwise the days just blob together. While I was getting my mommy legs, it was something for us to do. And we still invite people over, but they’ve been tested in that we actually like one another and who cares if you feed your kid HFCS or – GASP – non-organic milk?!
Marlena–that certainly makes sense to me. What I find a bit on the weird side is the Momfia (nice word) of total strangers, the kind you sign up for at the local baby-supply shop. These groups seem to bring together women while they are home from work, they can’t stand each other, and then they don’t keep in touch when they go back to the office. Friends makes sense to me, male or female, I suppose. –Theodore