Please Don’t Be All You Can Be

Not that I really have anything for or against the military, but I am concerned that if they start making any more videos like the one below, which I found via the cheery folks at Gawker, JP might just join. But I’ll let you decide. With no further ado, I give you Count Spirochete, a vampire that eats your penis if you have unprotected sex:

Published by Theodore

Theodore Ross is an editor of Harper’s Magazine. His writing has appeared in Harper’s, Saveur, Tin House, the Mississippi Review, and (of course), the Vietnam News. He grew up in New York City by way of Gulfport, MS, and as a teen played the evil Nazi, Toht, in Raiders of the Lost Ark: The Adaptation. He lives with his son, J.P. in Brooklyn, and is currently working on a book about Crypto-Jews.

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