A Week on the Wagon

Oh god, what happened this week? It was cold here in New York, and we ‘wagoneers struggled to get our normal, paid work done in addition to the truly fulfilling responsibility of posting on Dadwagon. (Never mind about actually parenting.) Now, I’m not saying we slacked off—but there were obstacles, both actual and psychological, to overcome.

Nathan, for instance, was still troubled by the demons of the previous week: trapped in Colorado by the nihilists at United Airlines, he re-contemplated his decision to pull his kids out of school for vacation, then, after enduring a hateful return to NYC, made nicey-nice with UA when they gave him the sucker’s kiss-off: vouchers. Ha!

Theodore, meanwhile, was trapped in New York, vacationless by divorce decree, and had to amuse himself solely by watching YouTube videos of hot, sexy teens and animated spirochetes. Sounds very fulfilling—no wonder he’s happy not being his own child.

Brian, last week’s guest-blogger, apparently didn’t get the message that he was no longer needed, because he kept posting and posting and posting. (Okay, only three posts, but still.) Actually, we rather enjoyed his introducing us to SexyBandz, which rhymes with “stinky hands,” which is what his daughter wound up with after indulging in too much late-night lox.

Finally, Matt was alternately almost-crying at his daughter’s birthday party and then figuring out how to—legally, if not morally—sneak out at night while she’s alone in her crib. Which is probably to be expected since he has no regard for her settled daily routine. Strangely enough, he wouldn’t mind being her. Huh.

Well, see you all next week, when it’ll be colder and we dads will disperse ourselves further throughout the universe.

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