Things My Dad Didn’t Tell Me, But That I’ll Tell My Kids: Perspiration Edition

Antiperspirant doesn’t work. Man, when I think of all about how many pit-stained white shirts I’ve had to dispose of, I regret ever having believed that little word “antiperspirant” printed on the labels of all those canisters of Degree and Right Guard and whatever. Shit just doesn’t work; for decades I put it on, and still I sweated. Had I only known!

Now it’s just deodorant, and who knows if that’s just a lie, too.

Anyway, I don’t know if this is going to matter to Sasha—she may have that reduced-perspiration Asian gene—but I’ll let her know, just to be safe.