From the lovely and glamorous designer/translator/DadWagon-spouse Jean, comes the answer to yesterday’s bar riddle. The sign shown here was, in fact, a Father’s Day tribute, from the semi-sleazy bar Touch in Nanjing.

Here’s Jean’s translation of the billboard:

A father’s love is an unassuming love. It’s an emotion that can’t be defined. Only people who look closely will understand. People say a father’s love is like a mountain, because it’s the same as a mother’s love, which is unconditional. This Father’s Day, Touch Bar has gathered mysterious gifts to give to every stressed-out dad—and dad-to-be!

Spend $1000 you’ll get $500 styling gift card:
Spend $2000 you’ll get $1000 worth of gift box, and $398 beauty gift card;
All that and more at Touch Bar!

To which I say, let that be our collective goal before next Father’s Day in June 2012. Every “stressed-out dad” should make  a vow to spend $2,000 at their local pub, in order to unlock “mysterious gifts”. Let our love for liquor be like a mountain!

I just got back from a somewhat too-short five-day trip to Nanjing, China. I did not, alas, find any turtle prick dumplings (sorry, Theodore). Nor did I see the Great Wall, or any gymnasts, or tiger penis aphrodisiacs. I did see lots of army folks, some powerful exhibitions about the Nanjing massacre, and lots of traffic. Nanjing has a reputation as the cultural and historic heart of China, so I was expecting at least moments of quaint-old-village. But like everywhere in China, the city is on a steroidal growth tear, now numbering eight million residents. So the old parts are there, but they are at least partially hidden behind the trappings of yet another would-be megapolis.

Things I liked about Nanjing: their willingness to eat every part of the duck, except, it would seem, for the actual meat of the duck. Blood, kidney, heart made for surprisingly good soups. Also, I loved the universities in town: walking around Nanjing University and Southeast University was a chance for unusual calm.

Things I did not like about Nanjing: no Facebook, no Twitter, no Google Plus, no YouTube, etc., etc. DadWagon reader CuteMonsterDad wanted to know if his blog was banned in China, and though I didn’t get a chance to check, it may well have been. Nothing seems too innocuous to escape the all-seeing censors. And the crackdown is worsening: China’s top investigative journalism team, to take one example, was shuttered this week.

But you, dear Chinese-speaking DadWagon readers, can help me answer a much more important question. See this advertisement in the picture up top? It was in front of a semi-seedy bar in the 1912 district call Touch 2. And it’s very clearly about Father’s Day (even with June 19th written in English). Look, there’s a picture of a dad with his child on his shoulders. But what would a bar be advertising Father’s Day for? Does DadWagon–with our lust for taking our children on pub crawls–have a kindred spirit in Nanjing’s bar district? If anyone can figure out what this all means, I’d love to hear about it.

In the meantime, I’m going to be tweeting my ass off today. Because in the US of A, I can.

Anyone know how to read a map?

So, I’m one of the 3,000 cyclists who each day ride back and forth over the Manhattan Bridge, crossing onto the island to pick my kid up from day care, returning to my office in Dumbo, and screaming in Chinese at the clueless pedestrians who endanger everyone by walking two abreast in the bike lane.

But, apparently, it turns out those pedestrians weren’t clueless—they were prescient! Because starting today, the bike lane is now the pedestrian lane, and the pedestrian lane, on the south side of the bridge, is now the bike lane. And to get there, we have to walk up STAIRS! Says Gothamist:

[T]his is being done for that Manhattan Bridge rehabilitation work we warned you about last year. Workers are replacing all the bridge suspenders and repairing all the cables. Now that they’ve started on the north side, the bike path will be covered with protective sheds under any active construction. But because the sheds are only three feet wide, they’re too narrow to accommodate the 3,000 cyclists a day who pedal over the bridge.

My god. This is awful. How ever will we survive? And what do we say now to the idiot pedestrians who are walking on what was once the right side but is now the wrong side?

There is, however, a bright side to this: I’m on vacation in Cape Cod, and won’t have to deal with the inevitable horror show until next Monday. Whew. Yeah, really dodged a bullet there. Till then, I’ll just have to content myself with whatever snark Bike Snob has to offer.