A Place for the Nook, or the Death of the Book

My mother has for many years bought JP completely age-inappropriate gifts. When he was an infant, she got him toys for toddlers that also happened to spike-ridden and flammable; as a toddler, she arrived bearing some sort of computerized reading device that actually doubled as a Taser; when he was in pre-school, she bought him algebra textbooks; and last year she bought him his very first videogame player, complete with seven choices of first-person shooters. (Yes, mother, I exaggerate–but I’ve gotten to the emotional truth.)

None of these toys really made sense for him, although they were bought with love, and I didn’t really mind her buying them. In most cases, JP never used them for the intended purpose, though: most he smashed, with great pleasure.

The most recent purchase in this regard is a Nook e-reader. There’s a few things here: first, JP doesn’t yet read. It’s coming, but we’re not quite there. Also, when he does read–or rather, when I read to him, or he flips through the pages of books, pointing out words he recognizes–it is picture books that he enjoys, and not chapter books.

Whatever you might or might not feel about e-reading, I don’t think it’s visual offerings can (at least yet) equal that of a large-format book. It’s an inferior experience of the thing he likes to do. As for convenience, well, since almost all of his reading is done in his room, the living room, or somewhere else in the house, the portability of his book is not an issue. Charging this new device is. Not only do I have to remember to keep it primed, but I have to do so in a house teeming with plugs for my own devices, and Tomoko’s, while simultaneously keeping Ellie from putting said electrical receptacles in her mouth. Modern problems.

Most ominously, though, is that I am essentially severing JP’s connection to the book before it really had an opportunity to develop. I don’t want to get overly squishy about this: e-readers are the next thing, and the book, in some form of the long run, is likely doomed. It’s just disconcerting to be the agent of its death in my household, particularly as I love books, have worked largely for print publications, and am in the final stretches of completing my own book, Am I a Jew?, which, with any luck, will be published in actual hardcover next year.

And so it goes, I suppose. Morale of the story? Ma, ask before you buy JP stuff.

Enter Autumn

This day, the one after Labor Day, always has a bit of that fin de siècle feeling. One thing ends, another begins.

This was true, of course, during my long and stuttering journey through schooling, right up until I (finally) finished college and then saw that the life of a working adult makes no differentiation between Summer Job and Winter Job, that it’s all just one march through the same tedium in August as in September. This can be especially true living, as we have lived, in places where the leaves don’t turn. In the Florida Keys there there is just Oh-Shit-Hurricane Season. In San Francisco, there is just Increased-Fog-and-Thoughts-of-Suicide Season, which roughly correlates with summer elsewhere.

But summer has been resurrected in our lives, inasmuch as our daughter is starting kindergarten in two days. I will, as any solipsist should, have LOTS to say about that particular piece of bittersweet. But for now suffice it to say that summer meant something, and that it is over.

Our blog is feeling the seasons as well. You may have noticed that DadWagon was at the proverbial beach this summer, with a reptilian posting schedule as we concentrated on Gym, Tan, Laundry (or, in our, case: Crypto-Jews, Getting Lost in Indonesia, and Arcane Geopolitics).

Not that we will be traveling or working our day gigs less (Matt seems to be going to Paris, and I am set for my own string of workweeks abroad), but with our kids back in school, the family units dispersed back into society, I anticipate the ‘Wagon will resume its feverish nature.

Which is why I was so gladdened to see, in a site we know and read, a lovely writeup of DadWagon today. Jeff Pugh over at ManoftheHouse encouraged his followers who “are looking to be entertained and learn a little bit about culture at the same time” to head this way. Much appreciated, and we’ll be glad to entertain those who do come along. The only quibble I have with his writeup is that it seemed to have been tagged as stress-relief content. In the interest of full disclosure, it should be noted that we are more stress-amplifiers, and if we do our job well this Autumn, our children’s new school adventures will make public education in New York City seem like a pit of petty intrigue and despair, which is, I think, what it is.

I’m headed to Chinatown now through the torrential rain to meet Matt and Ted. With any luck we’ll have a beer, eat some gizzard, and get ready for the coming season. Hope you’ll be here with us, and tell us, as always, if you think we should stop having children.

Cock-a-Doodle-Don’t!

So, for various reasons, I woke up naked in bed this morning. Jean and Sasha were already awake when I groggily pulled away the covers and stepped onto the floor. Just then, in bounded Sasha, who took one look at me, pointed at my penis, and started laughing. And laughing. And laughing.

I stumbled quickly away, into the bathroom, and as I peed I could hear her cackling uproariously in the bedroom. Luckily, the old bathrobe I stole from the Peninsula Hotel in Bangkok was hanging on the door, so I could hide my nakedness from my daughter—who, when I walked back to the bedroom, clad in the raiments of civilization, immediately pointed and shouted, “Daddy’s dress!”

Good morning. Have a happy Labor Day. See you next week.

Bad Dads We Love: Super commenters edition


Okay, I know it’s best never to respond to negative comments, and I won’t. Instead, I think I will run this comment in its entirety, which was written in response to a post I wrote in July about my ex-wife and my current nanny:

Sorry. Your ex wife is in the right here.

If you’re leaving her child alone with another person to watch him, she has an absolute right to judge — since you seem to be rather immature and short-sighted — the quality of the person who wil be assuming control of him.

Do you know what can happen in just a few short minutes when you have a child under your care? Is your nanny for the second child capable of caring for an infant and a toddler both?

Let your wife make that decision. If you can’t care for your own two without outside help (and nice digs at the inlaws who gave you FREE child support for years, btw), then absolutely the more mature parent should step in and see for herself.

Just please: no third Baby Momma for you, eh fella? Jokes aside about using the new one to pick up chicks, you seem verrrry immature for a man, and right now, those kids need to come before your inner kid.

Glad that the first family you created understands that. They are stuck with you now, via the boy. (ps. Did your wife agree to have her new lesbian relationship splattered across the pages of the NYT? If not, nice job on invading your son’s private life like that, for the sake of your “who am I???” writing career.

ps. Marry first, then make the babies. Who exactly is paying for their birth costs, the government (via the unwed mothers fund)?

Grow up and take a bit of responsibility man. It’s not just about you, despite your special, superior Jewish genetics.

Oh hell, I will make one tiny response: My genes are not superior because they are Jewish. The genes of MY CHILDREN are superior because they are evenly mixed between Jewish and Asian DNA strands. Specificity, ladies and gentlemen, specificity.

Last: my daughter, Ellie, was planned. It was my marriage that happened spontaneously.