I’m Am Pleasant and Well-Balanced, and If You Don’t Believe Me Go To Hell

So how come nobody told me this was DadWagon’s “Week of Rage”? That is so fucked up that I didn’t know! Matt, Nathan–how dare you undermine me in this completely rude and inappropriate fashion? I work my blogging fingers to the bone for DadWagon, no one thanks me, no one cares, and it makes me SO MAD to be treated like this. Fuck the both of you.

There. I’ve said my piece.

But just so you know: I never, ever get mad at my kids. You know why? Because they’re perfect, that’s why. Totally, completely, amazingly perfect. So what’s to get mad at? Their total perfection? Maybe Matt and Nathan just need to work on their parenting skills. Better yet, why not borrow my kids to see what perfection is all about? It could prove edifying for all involved.

Have a nice weekend.

Published by Theodore

Theodore Ross is an editor of Harper’s Magazine. His writing has appeared in Harper’s, Saveur, Tin House, the Mississippi Review, and (of course), the Vietnam News. He grew up in New York City by way of Gulfport, MS, and as a teen played the evil Nazi, Toht, in Raiders of the Lost Ark: The Adaptation. He lives with his son, J.P. in Brooklyn, and is currently working on a book about Crypto-Jews.

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