A Week on the Wagon: “Same-Same But White” Edition

This week, we didn’t just play to type. Each of us actually spent most of the week writing mostly about the exact same shit we’ve written about before.

Theodore couldn’t dismount from his ongoing obsession with what racist people call “rice fever” and what Theodore calls “dating.” Did you know that Asian Jews are the happiest people on earth? Did you care? Do you care about the difference between poor people and broke people with iPads (the post where Theodore describes iPad2 as “same-same but white”)? Do you give a fuck about hamsters? Did you know, as one commenter helpfully insinuated, that Jews do not suffer from Awesome White Guy Penis Syndrome? Maybe not, but Tay Sachs is even funner!

Speaking of fun, Nathan was no fun at all this week (once again). He had his one shot at levity when he posted a video (laziness and levity being somewhat overlapping in the world of blogging), but that turned out to be video of a terrifyingly stonefaced young brute making another 8-year-old cry for mercy. Nathan’s roid rage included chewing out a baby chewtoy and howling at parents who actually pay for kid haircuts. His longest contribution of the week was even more screedy: a reiteration of the obvious point that Gifted and Talented is hella racist.

Matt, meanwhile, stayed in his usual bubble, untrammeled by self-awareness of any order. We know he’s a hipster because he reads Reddit and blogs about it. And because the F Train is the battlefield upon which he repeatedly fights—and is defeated by—the will of his spawn. But when (older) kids of hipster-parents (or, to be fair, overindulgent hip-suburban-parents) appear in an obnoxious Toyota Highlander ad, Matt is the first to wish the boy a horrible, horrible death.

But we have to admit: we were impressed with his evisceration of abando-mom Rahna Reiko Rizzuto. We keep him around for moments of insight like that. Someday we may actually pay him for them.

Anyhow, have a good weekend. We’ll try to bring the new shit next week.