An Important Announcement About Our New Corporate Overlords

DadWagon has sold out.

This has been, of course, a long time coming. We’re sure you’ve heard rumors about the offers from AOL, from Trump, from Rupe, from Carlos Slim—all of which were true, albeit far beneath our consideration. But now—finally!—along has come an inquiry that piqued our interest. Last night, we received the following e-mail:

• From: “John” <info@yg-networksltd.com>
• Subject: Urgent notice of Intellectual Property protection
• Dear Manager:
• This email is from China domain name registration center, which mainly deal with the domain name registration and dispute internationally in China and Asia.
• On March 18th 2011. We received HAITONG company’s application, they want to register ” dadwagon” as its Internet keyword and CN/Asia domain names. It is china and Asia domain names. But after checking we find this domain name conflict with your company, in order to deal with this matter better, so we send you email, and want to confirm whether this company is your distributor or business partner in China?
• I’m looking forward to hearing from you!
• Best Regards,
• John
• Oversea marketing manager
• Office: +86(0)21 6191 8696
• Mobile: +86 1366152 9704
• Fax: +86(0)21 6191 8697
• web: www.ygnetworkltd.com

At first, we too were surprised. Haitong, one of the oldest and largest securities companies in China, wanted to buy out the DadWagon.com URL? Surely Haitong’s board knew about our courting by, and rejection of, similar offers from JPMorgan, Goldman Sachs, and various hedge funds (the printing of whose names in a public forum would essentially sign our death warrants)?

But the more we looked into it, the more enticing the offer seemed. First, we asked ourselves: How much is our URL worth? Then we found an answer: $54,410.49. Multiplying this by the standard factor of 1,000, we realized that not only would accepting Haitong’s offer make us fabulously wealthy—on an American, if not Chinese, scale—but that Haitong, and its vast network of Sichuanese migrant bloggers, could probably do a better job at ranting about Manhattan pre-K programs than we ever could.

And so we’ve decided to accept Haitong’s generous offer. There will, naturally, be some changes. Starting next week, DadWagon will be presented to you in Chinese. There will be morning calisthenics (required) and afternoon tai chi (optional). Comments, alas, will be turned off—Haitong does not allow outside meddling in internal corporate affairs.

Staff changes are afoot as well. Matt has been taken off editorial duties and placed in charge of the DadWagon kitchen, where he has always longed to be; reportedly, he almost-cried at the news. Nathan, now a far better man than he once was, has been put at the head of the Self-Criticism and Fecal Apology Bureau. Theodore, meanwhile, has been executed and his family sent a bill for the hatchet bullet(s).

We understand that you’ve grown to know and love DadWagon over the past year and a half, and we hope that this bright new era will bring you just as much joy (i.e., none at all). If, however, the new DadWagon—henceforth to be known as 爸爸旅行车—fails to satisfy your yen for furious, comedic, overly sentimental bloggery, please direct your complaints to our new head office in Beijing. Complaints will be accept in person only; first come, first served. And now, please warmly welcome our new corporate owners, Haitong Securities Co., Ltd.!