[Note: Ten extra dork points to anyone who recognizes that headline without Googling it.]
When I am holding my son, he paws at my face, often snagging my eyeglasses (rimless wire frames; they’re doomed) but generally going for the mouth. For a long time, it was clear what he was doing: He and I often goofed around, doing that bibble-bibble-bibble thing that involves strumming your lips with your finger while humming. I’d try it, then he’d do the same, then he’d start trying to prompt me by reaching for my mouth.
Lately, though, he’s lost interest in the game, and has just been flapping his hand at my face. Hard. He does it to other people, too. And the other day, when I was out somewhere, a friend saw it and said, “whoa.” To him, it looked not like flailing or playing but actual hitting. It hadn’t even occurred to me to think it was, but now I’m wondering. Is trouble ahead?
What’s the difference between random exuberant waving (which I wouldn’t dream of curtailing) and actual smacking (which needs to be nipped in the bud)? I honestly can’t tell. I don’t connect this activity with any distress, anger, or other bad juju. On the other hand, I also don’t really enjoy being beaten about the face and neck, even by a small soft lovable hand. The only one in favor of this activity, I think, will be my optician, who (at the rate I’m going) is gonna buy himself a boat this summer.
Fellow rope-a-dope victims: Any advice you have is welcome in the comments.
Hamlet- in the duel with Laertes. Yeah, I’m an English dork.
In general, very young infants don’t understand differences between “play” and “hitting” so it’s best to limit any swatting-type physical exploration. You can re-direct the action to a petting motion and say “gentle” while modeling the appropriate action.
With my 5 year old, I’m trying to explain the difference between “playing” (wrestling with friends who agree to roughouse) “fighting” (not allowed, except for grownups who’ve agreed -ie when Daddy is sparring at the gym) and “Defending Yourself” (which is unavoidable). I’ve just started, so I don’t expect it will run quite as smoothly as I’ve worked it out in my head.
Thanks, Scottstev… in fact, that is EXACTLY what my wife and I have settled on. Down to the wording: “Gentle, gentle.” It hasn’t sunk in, but that’s probably because he doesn’t understand much language yet.
Chris, is there any chance your child is—and I know this is a technical term—a boy? If so, you may be looking at a lifetime of such complications.
Hank has turned into a swiping little shit lately. And I say that will all requisite love. He gets a look in his eye, and then pow. He actually gave me a bloody nose before bedtime this very evening. As he watched a hankerchief fill up with my blood, he just laughed and requested another reading of “Bright Baby Trucks.” We’ve been doing “Gentle, gentle” and “glasses stay on faces” for awhile now, to no palpable avail quite yet. Good luck.