Yesterday, as many of you no doubt are aware, was April 20th, which according to the High Priests of Wiki (at whose altar I, and my lazy kindred, worship), is a “counterculture holiday,” where druggies “people gather to celebrate and consume cannabis.”
Now, I too went to college, which means I have consumed my fair share of doobage (from the French), but I have long since stopped. I point that out for no other reason than to show that I don’t care who smokes what, and I’d rather smell someone else’s weed than his Marlboros.
But yesterday, as I was strolling through my neighborhood, I encountered a group of about four teenagers passing around a very large blunt (look it up, geek). Standing with them was another teen, this one watching with disapprobation. One of the kids took notice and told her friend “it’s 4/20 day, bitch!”
Such is the state of our world.
Again, no judgments. I will instead leave you with this little tidbit from Sex and the Single Dad about the author’s not-so-pleasant experience with a teenage marijuana smoker:
Let’s jump in the Hot Tub Time Machine and go back a few years…I was dating this chick who ended up being a complete bitch. Her daughter was 16 and proudly admitted that she was a bitch. I’ll call the daughter The Saint….Anyway… around April 17 or 18 I’m sitting in my home office, writing something for someone and she comes in, sits down and says that she needs me to help her with a problem…I told her that I would do what I could and asked her what she needed help with. She informed me that she and a couple of her friends wanted to celebrate 4/20 and she wanted me to supply them with the key ingredient.
“What the hell makes you think I smoke and why the fuck do you think that I know where to get weed?” I asked her. She was unfazed by my swearing and said she wasn’t sure if I smoked or not but she named three of my friends and said that she was 100% certain they did and that I could get some from them.
I looked at her for a moment, trying to decide if she was serious with this request or just being a little bitch. I determined that she was serious and told her that there was absolutely no way in hell that I was getting her weed. If she wanted to celebrate, she had to find another source. What she said next completely blew me away…
“If you don’t get me the weed I’m gonna tell my mom that you came onto me. I’m hot, so she’ll believe it.” WTF???? This chick was gonna play the pedophile card? Not cool, yo! Not cool. I looked at her, asked if she was serious and she said that she was absolutely serious. I needed to buy an hour or so until her mom got to my house, so I told her that I would think about it.
Who doesn’t love kids?
Thanx for prompting me to pronounce “doobage” — “du-bahzge”.
Wrath–it is, in fact, Doobag-ay. Sorry to get technical on you. –Theodore
Thanks for the hetro man-love! Much appreciated!!!
A pleasure, #JR. That was quite some story. happy hunting–Theodore.
Not enough swearing, though.
This is the most awesome blog I have found yet! As the Uber-Man I salute you!
Blirred reality–we most definitely agree–Theodore.
I can’t believe Brooklyn has come to this, why can’t you all go back to New England or where ever the hell you came from and leave Brooklyn to the working class.
I am a nice Dude! But it’s time for men to start re-defining our own roles. I like what you four are doing with this blog.
I pity teenagers nowadays. Back in the mid 80’s when I was a stoner getting high was still transgressive and tons more fun as a result. Now its about as transgressive as driving over the speed limit. If it gets legalized here in California it’ll be pointless to smoke weed unless you’re a boomer and then only for nostalgia.
Jason–kids, I’m afraid, will likely always find ways to transgress. These days it may just be through sex-trafficking and ritual murder instead of bong hits and drunk driving. –Theodore.