The Luckiest Kid Around

Judgement of Solomon--cut the kid in half
Judgement of Solomon--cut the kid in half

A few weeks back I wrote a post about children with divorced parents and scheduling birthday parties. At the time, it wasn’t clear whether my ex would want us to cooperate on a single birthday party and for JP. I felt at the time that it made most sense for us to do so, but divorce is no fun, and working together on the party and purchasing gifts might prove too difficult for her.

It did. The outcome is funny in a pathetic way. Our custody arrangement guarantees us both time with JP on his birthday. So on that day JP will go to a party with his friends hosted by his mother in the first part of the day. Later on, I’m going to be stuffing him with cake at my home, minus the kids, but with my out-of-town family members who are flying in. Then next week, because what sort of father would I be if I let his mother host the only party for my first born, I will throw my own party for JP.

For those of you keeping score, that’s three parties. Also, because in our Solomonic parental wisdom we’ve been unable even to discuss what gifts will be purchased let alone cooperating on buying them, JP, who to date has expressed no interest in having a bike, will shortly be the owner of two.

Lucky boy.

Published by Theodore

Theodore Ross is an editor of Harper’s Magazine. His writing has appeared in Harper’s, Saveur, Tin House, the Mississippi Review, and (of course), the Vietnam News. He grew up in New York City by way of Gulfport, MS, and as a teen played the evil Nazi, Toht, in Raiders of the Lost Ark: The Adaptation. He lives with his son, J.P. in Brooklyn, and is currently working on a book about Crypto-Jews.

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