Don’t Wait Up, Dada

I worked late tonight, and left the office at 8, dragging myself home and feeling a little like Don Draper (without the promiscuity, alcoholism, or secret past). My wife called me as I was headed for the elevator, and noted that my son was still awake, but that he’d be asleep by the time I got home. “I don’t want to make you feel bad, but he’s saying ‘dada, dada,'” she told me. (Tried to put him on the phone with me, but as those of you with toddlers know, that doesn’t work until late.)

Well, that’s new. He was very late to both “mama” and “dada”–a lot of words preceded those–and although he spends plenty of time fretting and crying for his mother when she’s out of the room or otherwise occupied, he has not, till now, called for his dad. So I swallowed my guilt, and made my way home without rushing–didn’t take a cab, stopped for an errand on the way.

And turned the key in the lock, and heard, from the bedroom: “Dada!” He wouldn’t sleep till I got there. We spent ten minutes playing, and then he went down for the night.

This is wonderful beyond compare, and also portends a big problem. I’m in the office late two nights a week, with little flexibility. If he’s becoming aware of that, I have no idea what to do next. Maybe change his bedtime?

Published by Christopher

Christopher Bonanos is a senior editor at New York magazine, where he works on arts and urban-affairs coverage (and a few other things). He and his wife live smack in the middle of midtown Manhattan, where their son was born in March 2009. Both parents are very happy, and very tired.

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2 Comments

  1. I dealt with this same issue often with my oldest son having to hit deadlines for a West Coast client. What my wife and I ended up doing was having him engage in special night time activities that were Mommy focused and letting him tell Daddy all about them the next morning. All about introducing a new routine. Give it a shot. Good luck!

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  2. Do you have a webcam in your office? If not, can you buy a USB one to take in with you and use Skype to video call your child to say goodnight to them? (You could even put Skype on a USB drive to make it even more portable.) Toddlers might not understand phone calls, but they seem to take right to video calls.

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