My Son, My General

I had no idea that Kim Jong-Il and I had so much in common! We love our sons, and wish for them to have excellent futures. As the Times reported yesterday, Kim has begun to make arrangements (somewhat hastily, since his health is failing) for his youngest boy to take over the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea, outgunning his older sons and his daughter. The middle son had no shot, being that—how to put this?—he has a sex life somewhat different from that of his dad.

But back to Kim and me. Consider the following:

• Kim is 68; his son is reported to be “in his late twenties.” My son was born when I was 40.

• Kim and son like crisply tailored military uniforms. I recently bought my son a shirt (size 2T) at the same haberdasher’s sample sale where I get my clothes.

• Kim has ordered built a spectacular subway system in Pyongyang, despite intermittent electric power and no jobs to which people might commute. I like trains.

• Every now and then, Kim comes to the U.N. and rails about the United States. During those weeks, traffic is tied up throughout my East Side neighborhood, and I rail about the U.N.

I guess the only difference is … well, there are a lot of them, actually. Mostly I wouldn’t wish the writer’s life (or a writer’s income) on my kid unless he wants it really, really bad. But other than that: same exact plan.

Published by Christopher

Christopher Bonanos is a senior editor at New York magazine, where he works on arts and urban-affairs coverage (and a few other things). He and his wife live smack in the middle of midtown Manhattan, where their son was born in March 2009. Both parents are very happy, and very tired.

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