My name is Mr. Thomas O’Malley. I talk weird. I look funny. My nose is long, and the hair on my chin is not a beard—it’s a mustache. I know tricks: how to make it look like you’ve only got nine fingers, how to confuse your brain to mix up left and right, how to …
Author Archives: Matt
Today in Fatherhood: Birth and Death Edition
In an effort to keep up on what’s going on with daddyhood around the world, I recently signed up for a Google News alert on “father or dad.” The links that stream in daily are a stunning array of tragedy, comedy, tragicomedy and mystery. A brief summary: • Van Morrison is a father again—at the …
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“Hey, Look at This Cute Thing My Kid Did!”
Here at Dadwagon, we’re not real big on writing about the cute things our kids do. No, we’re much more concerned with bibby-banging, kvetching, decoding Dan Zanes lyrics and pissing off parent coaches. But since Chris has decided to jettison tradition and offer you, our dear readers, some actually useful advice, I figured I’d break …
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Hating the Baby
I am a pretty peaceful guy, relatively patient and understanding—mild, you might even say—but on Christmas Day I found myself in an angry and resentful mood, all directed at the baby. First, I woke to find her at my bedside, tearing the cover off a 1960’s edition of “Europe on $5 a Day” that a …