The last week or so has really sucked chez Gross. And because I’m in a bad, despondent mood, I’m going to just run down a list of all the hassles: • Our boiler/water heater is on the fritz. Again. Less than a month after we had its pump replaced ($660!), an anti-condensing valve, plunger, and …
Continue reading “Dog Days and Dark Days: Entropy, Chaos, Death, the Inevitable”
A couple of days ago, I picked Sasha up from her preschool in Chinatown. Lately, this has not been easy. Always always always, she won’t leave the school unless one of her friends is leaving at exactly the same time, which means we’ll often have to wait 10 or 15 minutes for the friend’s mom …
One of the great things about being a father is that, well, you get to act like a father. Not in the teaching-your-kid-to-play-ball, carrying-the-sleeping-first-grader-to-bed sentimental-tripe way, but in the sense of getting to indulge in stereotypically dorky dad behavior. Example: “Hey,” says Sasha, trying to get my attention. “Hay is for horses,” I interrupt. Sasha …
Normally, Sasha is a pretty good kid—and pretty good at playing on her own or with other children. But lately she’s been getting on our fucking nerves, and it’s her damn doll—Baby Pizza, as she’s decided to name it—that’s to blame. Every morning, every evening, we hear the same thing: “Daddy, I want baby to …
Continue reading “Why I Plan to Kidnap and Murder ‘Baby Pizza’”
