Of all the evil, unnecessary products marketed toward anxious parents, Life360 may be one of the most disgusting—a sign that our society deserves whatever fiery, zombie-ridden fate awaits it. At first glance, though, Life360 seems almost innocuous, maybe even useful. It’s primarily a GPS-based system for monitoring the whereabouts of your spouse and children via …
Author Archives: Matt
The Tantrum: Should You Just Move to the Suburbs Already? Part 2
Dadwagon, as is well known, is the first and last stop for millions of Americans (and billions of foreigners) who want the straight dope on fatherhood in the world’s only important metropolis: New York City. And yet, despite Nathan’s, Theodore’s and my own intense NYC partisanship, none of us are 100 percent city-born and -raised. …
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My Kid Is Better Than Yours
Yesterday, when I went to pick Sasha up from day care, the school’s director, Ms. Zoe, cornered me in the hallway outside the classroom and said she wanted to talk. Maybe I should sit down. Oh, fuck, I thought, who did Sasha bite? No one, it turned out. Instead, Ms. Zoe told me, with Sasha’s …
“Trick or Treat?” (A.K.A. The Lollipops! The Fucking Lollipops!)
Not that I really have much experience in these things, but if you want to witness a toddler’s full emotional spectrum, Halloween is a pretty damn good time to do so. I mean, if you’d seen Sasha yesterday—running along the bumpy sidewalks of Brooklyn in her Old Navy bumblebee costume, jazzed on candied sucrose, warbling …
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