Scene 1: It is July 5, and Jean and I have brought Sasha to our trendy neighborhood pediatrician for her 18-month checkup. The kid is in fine shape: 89th percentile for height, 49th for weight, and also screaming and crying with terror at the prospect of being examined. Then the nurse practitioner walks in, and …
Author Archives: Matt
Want!
When I arrived in Vienna, Austria, the other day, I had a horrible surprise at the airport: My suitcase, which had started the journey with two wheels, now had only one, courtesy of the fine baggage handlers at British Airways. Luckily, the airline rep inside Customs told me they’d replace it—that is, let me spend …
I’m Sorry… So Sorry…
One morning a couple of weeks ago, I was the parent who got up to take care of Sasha. I was early, actually, and arrived in her room before she’d started crying out for company, and I found her sitting in her crib, a worried look on her face. She stared at me and said, …
Mad Men, Mad Women
Q: If you cheated on your wife with another woman, and got her pregnant, and she never told you about it and then gave the baby up for adoption, and then told you about it, how would you react? A: It doesn’t matter one bit, because the wife (as in, my wife) who’s asking you …