You know, you try hard. You buy organic milk for the kid, try to come home early from work, don’t get angry when your wife says she’s tired. You put up with anti-crotchfruit loonies on one side and raging breeders on the other. You save money, get life insurance, start a college fund. You don’t …
Author Archives: Matt
I Love the Internet: ‘Shit My Kids Ruined’
What would I do without the Internet? I can’t think of anything* that gives me more joy on a daily—nay, hourly—basis than the series of tubes that brought me face to face with “Shit My Kids Ruined,” a Tumblr blog that presents photos of broken shit along with pithy, funny, instantly recognizable lines about how …
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DadWagon Approves: Russian Lit for Kids
From my friend Summer (via McSweeney‘s) comes a round-up of Russian literary classics redone for small children: Crime and Punishment Run your hand over Raskolnikov’s scratchy face. He is feverish and pale. Raskolnikov is a murderer. Can the ends ever justify the means? Master and Margarita Pet Behemoth’s soft black fur. Behemoth is a giant …
Dispatches From the Diaper Wars
Like any child her age (1.5 years), my daughter Sasha wears diapers. Pampers, to be specific. With Dry Max technology, whatever that is. Every morning, we get her up, change her, give her a bottle of milk and wait for the smell of her poop to start emanating throughout the room. Then she gets a …