The Perils of Sociability

180px-Daria_logoOur son’s latest developmental stage involves greeting random people. “Hi!” he says, to us, to store clerks, to ladies on the street. Last night on the way home, reports my wife, he waved and shouted “hi!” to two middle-aged ladies on the steps of a nearby church, and completely flattened them with his cuteness. (As well he should, being that he’s the cutest child on earth.)

I should be delighted by this, and I usually am, particularly when I walk in the front door to a big smiley greeting. Yet it does trigger a faint troubling tickle at the very back of my mind. What he’s doing is, when you get down to it, Talking to Strangers, and I’ve seen more than my share of After-School Specials, so I know that talking to strangers is not good. It’s fine now, when he’s 18 months old and stroller-bound. Soon enough, though, he won’t be, and then I guess we have to start addressing that.

Don’t you wish we didn’t have to mess up a perfectly sweet moment with these dark thoughts? As Daria used to note, it’s a sick sad world out there.

More about Jury Duty

mus_jury_largeWe have a twenty-minute break and wifi in here, so a quick update from the Courthouse.

My friend Laura M., formerly of San Francisco, now of la jungla somewhere, sent me a note with a link to a very unique take on the responsibilities of jury duty. Over on her personal blog, MTV worker and Carrie Fisher fan Laurel Woods has a recounting of her life experience with jury duty, which included a few random dismissals, and then, later on, having to sit to watch jury selection when her own father went on trial for murder (twist!).

Here’s Woods describing about the next time she was being selected as a potential juror after her father’s conviction:

“Anyone else?”  I raised my hand.  “My father is serving a life sentence in prison.”  Every head in the room turned around to me. The court room had gone silent.  I could hear the crickets clear out in the Bayou.

“What is his conviction?”  The judge fumbled his words.  I paused, “Murder.”  Another bomb dropped.  People turned their heads around even more, as if they were stretching at the end of a yoga class.  “Where is he serving his sentence?”  “In California,” I offered.  “Do you feel that your father’s conviction will prevent you from being able to give this defendant a fair trial?”  “No, I do not.”  “Thank you.”

Next the attorneys each had a chance to ask detailed questions. The defense attorney singled me out right away.  “Were you involved at all in your dad’s trial?”  “Yes.”  All of a sudden, I had flashbacks of being cross-examined by the bulldog prosecutor during my dad’s trial.  He tore apart every phrase I had uttered in my testimony, trying to put words into my mouth. I had quickly learned to never offer more than what you’re asked.

“Can you elaborate?”  She asked.  “I sat through my dad’s jury selection, and his trial.”  “Every day?”  “Yes.”  I was visibly shaking.  “Did you have to testify?”  “Yes.”  I could only respond yes or no.  “And you still feel that you can give my client a fair trial, given your dad’s situation?”  “Yes I do.”  “Thank you,” she looked at me unconvincingly.

After both attorneys finished, the judge read out the names to be dismissed.  I wanted to be selected more than anything.  “Laurel Woods,” my heart sank.  Everyone stared at me with a look of sadness.  I gathered my things, stood up, and walked out of the court room.  Everyone else was trying to get out and I was trying to stay in.  I felt rejected and was emotionally exhausted.  They’ll never pick me.

So apparently, this is somewhat like disenfranchising ex-cons for life after they serve their time. Only here it’s the family members who will effectively barred from being able to serve on a jury just because of their association with someone who was convicted. I would argue that someone who has been on the other side of the criminal justice system might bring a welcome perspective to the process. After all, in increasingly upmarket Manhattan, our jury looks pretty white and unscarred by life (I include myself in that category). The three randomly-selected jury officers–foreman, assistant foreman and secretary–are a bond trader, pediatric ER doctor, and a patent lawyer, respectively. Not exactly the peers of most of the accused, I’m guessing.

At any rate, I respect Woods’ desire to serve. I wish everyone were more like that.

Soviet Dad-dissing

Let there always be sunshine: That’s the title of this intensely weird Soviet kid-choir video, which, just like Eduard Hill’s Tro-Lo-Lo, makes me quite glad we won the cold war.

One thing that our Russky readers might notice: the chorus totally leaves dads out.

There will always be sunshine
There will always be clouds
There will always be mama
There will always be me

I guess with so many dads either lost in the war or sent to gulags, or (in the later years) off driving taxis for hard currency, it’s natural to just write them out of the Soviet household. But still. Soviet dads did their thing. Give them their respect.

God. Country. Jury Duty.

mus_jury_largeA quick note to say that I have been Selected. For the next two weeks I will be Grand Juror #20 in one of the many small decrepit courtrooms in downtown Manhattan. To tell you any more than that, at least according to the nifty informational video starring Ed Bradley and Sam Waterston, is to risk contempt charges for me and possible death by mob hitman for you.

Well, let me say a couple things about it. First off, this is a completely Soviet bureaucracy, in New York County at least. I arrived at 9am yesterday and by 4:30pm we were still basically being given our marching orders. It took hours to get selected, hours to get through the information sessions. There is a fundamental disrespect for the value of citizens’ time that usually marks third-world republics and other forms of totalitarian governments.

Second, We the People are lazy, whiny bastards. The number of proposed excuses for getting out of this jury duty–even after they had reported to the courthouse–was staggering. Audacious. Idiotic. The fundamental concept that seemed to animate most of these people was: screw our legal system, I’ve got somewhere better to be.

As much as I dislike the inefficiencies of the process, I believe in jury duty, like I believe in voting. Just do it. Don’t be a whiner. Don’t be a teabagger. Make this country work.

Ask me in two weeks, though, if I still feel the same.