The Young & the Restless & the Bitchy

Most of the time when I take Sasha to a playground, I interact very little with the other parents. Sasha’s still very young, and needs to be watched, or to have her hand held, as she climbs up wooden stairs and yells “Whee!” as she cruises down a slide.

But yesterday, for whatever reason, she seemed able to take care of herself, enthusiastically pushing some other kid’s toy stroller around the playground, where she was the youngest of about six kids. And so I relaxed, stood away from her, and wound up talking, briefly, with a mother there.

She was a bit older than me, wearing sunglasses, and had two kids there, about 2 and 3 years old. I don’t really remember what we were saying to each other, but then another mom walked by, a baby strapped to her chest, a cell phone at her ear, and Sunglasses Mom said this: “She’s been on the phone for, like, an hour and a half!”

I don’t know how I reacted, or if I reacted at all, but it took me aback. I mean, I’d heard about playground bitchiness, about the one-ups-manship between parents. I’ve seen “Little Children” (or at least the parts where Kate Winslet’s naked).

But WTF? Who cares? Phone Lady’s other kid, a very sweet 2-year-old who without prompting shared his toys with Sasha, was running around having a great time on his own, and the kid on her chest was asleep. Fine, she wanted to talk on the phone for a while, so she did. If she’s anything like me, Phone Lady probably felt guilty doing so, just as I feel like a shithead for checking my iPhone while Sasha’s in the stroller, but the fact is, sometimes our kids don’t particularly need our attention. They’re either playing on their own, or just sitting there looking at the world (i.e., being booooring), and if you ignore the kid for a few minutes (or, like, an hour and a half), they will not self-destruct, Child Protective Services will not whisk them away, and you will not be labeled a Bad, Bad Parent.

Except by Sunglasses Mom.

Published by Matt

Matt Gross writes about travel and food for the New York Times, Saveur, Gourmet, and Afar, where he is a Contributing Writer. When he’s not on the road, he’s with his wife, Jean, and daughter, Sasha, in Boerum Hill, Brooklyn.

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4 Comments

  1. Yeah no big deal. Don’t pay attention to your kids. Bring them to bars. Use them as props in your boring stories about gentrifying BK.
    I like Sunglasses mom. She’s an actual PARENT.

  2. Geez I hate to think what she would say about me reading a book while my kid plays at the park or working while she draws at home. The side benefit of parents not focusing every ounce of attention and energy on their kids is that the kids learn how to, God forbid, entertain themselves.

    It sucks that some people feel compelled to pass such easy judgment and be catty about it. I’ve been lucky enough to have rarely witnessed or experienced any of the ‘mommy wars’ or playground bitchiness. Of course my kids not in school yet so we’ll see if that changes in September.

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