Journaling for Toddlers

And so it begins.

It is perhaps not surprising that I, a somewhat logorrheic blogger in my off-hours, would find a way to get my children to write a journal before they even know how to write. But I’ve been fairly pleased with the results so far.

We’re tucked away in the Baltic Sea coastal town of Wustrow, in a part of Germany very appropriately called Fischland. It’s been a great and fine vacation so far, with stops in Berlin and various parts of northern Germany to visit friends I’ve known since I spent a year of high school there. But as always with kids this young, we have twin fears: 1) that in two months they won’t even be able to recall this trip and 2) that we as parents will only half-remember the small wonders of preschoolers negotiating new languages, new geography and new flavors of ice cream.

That’s where the journals come in: two cheap black notebooks that say Berlin on the cover have now grounded a bedtime ritual of writing and drawing the days’ events. The writing, though, is actually mostly dictating. Dalia can write letters, but words remain a mystery to her, and her asking how each word is spelled is the diary equivalent of her walking to school: way too slow. So we’ve taken to cheating, in a way, by just having them both tell us what happened that day, in as much of their words as possible.

My favorite part of all of this, though, has been Nico’s contributions, because I think they capture the insane essence of a two-year-old’s mind fairly well. We have some video of him saying his crazythings, but it doesn’t have the same wonder, I think, as actually seeing him transcribed on the page. It would be, I think, a good exercise for us, as parents already desperate not to forget how unique and bendy and scatalogical the minds of all toddlers are, to keep up with some kind of diary even when at home.

And now, as we pack for a train (a longish ride, once again) to Amsterdam, here’s part of Nico’s entry from yesterday, written at 9pm last night.

What’s a diary? What’s diarrhea?

A rash.

What’s a diarrhea? A kind of poop.

My body says I’m hungry. How do you write “I’m hungry?” Write it on a paper.

Why was the church [tower, which we climbed] scary? Because it was high up?

My bug died. Why did it die? I buried my big. How do you say “I buried my bug” in German?

[It was] a ladybug. We find three. Why are there no more here now?

At the beach, that baby was throwing sand and it got in my eye. I think it was Wilma. But maybe it was Jule. Or something like that.

How do you write “I got two bugs and I buried them?”

The end.

What Almost Made Me Cry Today: Gmail Edition

Oh god, oh god, oh god! Fuck you, Gmail, for making this ad, in which a tech-savvy dad uses all of Google’s web services to create a portrait of his adorable daughter starting the day she’s born, with the idea that one day he’ll share with her all the e-mails he’s written her, YouTube videos he’s made, and Google Buzz updates she probably would have ignored. It’s brought me—nearly!—to tears, because I, too, opened a Gmail account for my kid the day she was born. Well, also because I’m a wuss.

Also, a big fuck you to New York Magazine for bringing this whole thing to my attention, including this takedown by TiPb, which points out that this is just the Googleplex’s manipulative way of getting mush-minded parents like me to donate all of their children’s personal information to the Cloud so that Sergei Brin can sell it to advertisers. Screw you all! I’m gonna watch this again and (almost) cry.

A Week on the Wagon: Proof of Life Edition

Things might be a little slow at DadWagon HQ today, but I don’t want our loyal readers to think we’re slacking off. Nathan, if I understand things correctly, is still in transit to his relaxing vacation, and is unable to post anything (no Internet service in Lappland, eh?)

Matt, meanwhile, has been a little distracted by his concerns about winning a James Beard travel-writing award (fingers crossed). Gotta cut him a break.

As for me, well, I’ve been busily pecking away at my book on weird Jews, myself (possibly) included. Specifically? Well, here’s a little video that might give a little taste of what the current chapter is all about. Enjoy, and have a nice weekend.

Shhh: the king is on his throne

This is another story from my brother. So, he calls me up the other day and I know I’m in for it when he starts out by saying, “I never used to understand how Dad would disappear into the john with a paper and just be there…but now I do.”

Hard to say where these conversations are going to lead, and often times it requires making sure no one is listening in. In this case, though, it wasn’t so bad.

Seems he was astride the throne, publication in hand, being the lord and king of his eliminatory domain, when he hears his oldest daughter shouting out his name. Shrieking it. Screaming. DADDY!!!!
DADDY!!!!

He does, of course, what all experienced parents do: he ignores her for as long as he can, until it becomes clear that the shouting won’t stop until he responds.

“Whadyawant? damn!”

Pause.

“I love you, Daddy.”

Trump card played and now the silence is on my brother’s end. Eventually, he recovers well enough to guiltily reply.

“I love you, too, sweetie.”

He doesn’t cheat himself in the throne room, but it isn’t the same after that. Not really.

Some time later he heads downstairs to see his little angel, in the kitchen, working on a homework assignment. This is exactly the sort of thing he prefers to ignore on his way to the refrigerator for a beer. But now, after the earlier incident, he decides to take a peek.

Her assignment for the evening, he sees, is to “Do Something Nice for Someone Else.” Below the title are several blanks where his daughter can fill in a description of what she has done. The first blank has been filled in. It reads:

“Told Daddy I loved him.”

The mixture of rage, frustration, love, and exasperation is almost to rich to bear.