DADWAGON – Page 6

Brood, Thy Name is Ross

So, Saturday, August 26th, after many hours of labor, my wife, Tomoko gave birth to our second child, and my third. Her name is Mena Masako Ross, a name I kinda like, even if the first one was suggested to us by a semi-retired Internet guy on yoga retreat vacation in Mexico, and if only because the middle is the same as Tomoko’s mother, who passed away many years ago.

I don’t have much to say about this experience just yet. Third time may be the charm, but I’m still reeling from the impact of having entered into this social contrat/burden/blessing yet again. She is a lovely little thing, Mena, and Ellie and JP have taken to her immediately, JP, the harsh critic, even conceding that she is cute.

I will share this: earlier today, Tomoko and I decided to take the children out for a short walk around the neighborhood (we’re on family leave–two weeks for me, four months for Tomoko, which isn’t fair, but is the way it is, and something I think mothers might keep in mind as they are debating their capacity to “have it all”). JP sprinted out in front, Ellie trundling along behind shouting for him to wait. I speed walked after, trying to beat Ellie to the corner and make sure she didn’t blunder out into traffic. Holding up the rear were Tomoko and Mena.

We got to one corner, and waited for the light, all five of us, a nice moment, first of many, to be sure. I turned to Tomoko, who had finally caught up with us, and said, “The word that comes to mind is brood, isn’t it?”

She didn’t disagree.

They Like Me (well enough), They Really, Really Like Me (no complaints)

I have my first lengthy review out today form forthcoming book, Am I a Jew? in the Jewish Daily Forward today. I thought it was pretty positive, even if I was described in it, by the writer, Josh Rolnick, as “earnest.” He did touch, in part, on the impact that the religious chicanery has had on my present, and my children:

“Ross, features editor of Men’s Journal and co-founder of the parenting blog DadWagon, has wrestled with the impact of this “huge moment in his life” ever since. Neither his first nor his current wife is Jewish (one’s Catholic, the other Buddhist). He has two children, one from each marriage, and he says that he wants them to “practice the same religion” as each other “or none at all.”

DadWagon! Anyway, it’s a fun thing to be reviewed without being beaten with sticks, so I’m happy today. For those so inclined, pre-order this bad boy! She ain’t out until August 31.

Tonight at 7: DadWagon Presents!

Just a quick reminder to you, our legions of rabidly loyal fans, that tonight at 7 p.m. is the third installment of DadWagon Presents, this time featuring:

• Benjamin Anastas is the author of the novels An Underachiever’s Diary and The Faithful Narrative of a Pastor’s Disappearance, which was a New York Times notable book. Other work has appeared in The Paris Review, Harper’s, The New York Times Magazine, Bookforum, and is forthcoming in The Best American Essays 2012. His memoir Too Good to Be True will be published in October and will cost his 5-year-old son a small fortune in future therapy.

• Brian Braiker, a former Newsweek and Rolling Stone staff writer, is a senior editor of Parenting magazine. He loves one of his daughters more than the other, but he’ll never tell which.

• David J. Rosen is the author of the novel I Just Want My Pants Back, as well as the creator and executive producer of the MTV series of the same name. He is also the author of the nonfiction book What’s That Job and How the Hell Do I Get It?, and his writing has appeared in publications like Esquire and The New York Times. Rosen lives in Brooklyn and has the stroller arms to prove it.

So, if you’re anywhere near New York City, come on by Pacific Standard (82 Fourth Avenue, Brooklyn, 718-858-1951; pacificstandardbrooklyn.com) and check us out. Oh, and it’s free, of course.

Subway Follies: Dads vs. Pregnant Women

A couple of weeks ago, Jean, Sasha, and I were riding the F train. We do this a lot. It goes where we want to go, generally, and takes us back to where we live. I don’t know where we were going at the time, but what I do remember is that the train was moderately, but not insanely, crowded. All the seats were taken, but there was still room to stand.

And stand was what we did, in front of a row of seats. Eh, so what? Well, Jean is eight months’ pregnant, and seems to have been so all summer long. And there was this guy sitting right in front of us, maybe in his mid-20s, with headphones and eyeglasses on and a backpack in his lap; his face was maybe 18 inches from the watermelon-like protuberance of Jean’s belly. And he didn’t get up and give Jean his seat. He sat there, not looking at anything in particular, for station stop after station stop. Eventually, he debarked, and Jean was granted a one-stop reprieve before we too had to leave. What a dick.

This isn’t totally typical, Jean tells me. Often, people give her a seat. But not that often—and certainly not as often as people offer me their seats when I’m riding alone with Sasha. Then, my god! Look, I’m a healthy 38-year-old guy who has no trouble standing in a subway car, and Sasha, though only 3 and two-thirds years old, is certainly capable of doing the same, no matter how ear-splittingly she may whine. But still, we walk onto the F train and everyone offers us their seat: middle-aged women, gorgeous young creatures, gym-built behemoths, old Chinese dudes in sweat-stained undershirts, businessmen in somber suits and Happy Socks. It’s incredible how polite everyone is, and although I’m thankful for their collective kindness, I’m also a little put off. Do I look that harried and wiped out? Am I cloaked in an aura that declares, “Danger! This father incapable of guarding his kid for three stops!”? Or is it just some bending-over-backward to be nice to an incredibly rare father-who’s-actually-there?

Whatever the reasoning, I wish it was as automatically there for Jean (and other pregnant ladies) as it is for me. But only because that would make me feel less guilty and lazy about so speedily and wholeheartedly accepting the offers.

[polldaddy poll=6479632]