Napmink!

PETA_MinkInTrapMust admit, of the four Dadwagoneers on this site, I’m most likely the least committed daddy-shopper. Now, I’m not entirely unaffected by the rigorous ministrations of the ad-monkeys running this planet. I, like everyone else, am deeply moved at the sight of a girl doll with a “willie na na” (a technical term); and who doesn’t see the obvious charm of a smellable truck made from “Sprigwood,” which apparently, according to Celebrity Babies, is “a blend of recycled plastic and wood” that smells like “sawdust.” Nice!

But some products just strike me as wrong in rather subtle ways. First: I have no particular animal-rights inclinations, although I do have a dog and a cat (Frankie and Henry). If someone wants to wear the hair-covering of the cute, fuzzy animal trapped in a metal cage as shown above, please do. There are worse things.

But a napmink? Let me explain. Here we have a nap mat to be used on the floor, designed to be reminiscent of a mink throw. Yes, it’s only produced with “minky” substances and not the real stuff (for that I have a guy in the business; let me know, I’ll give him a ring-a-ding. NOTE: to be read with kitsch Yiddish accent), and yes they do provide “the plushest experience in napping.”

napminkBut still. That just ain’t right. It’s enough to make me want to turn vegetarian and start buying only expensive cheap self-congratulatory envirotoys.

Well, not quite.

Published by Theodore

Theodore Ross is an editor of Harper’s Magazine. His writing has appeared in Harper’s, Saveur, Tin House, the Mississippi Review, and (of course), the Vietnam News. He grew up in New York City by way of Gulfport, MS, and as a teen played the evil Nazi, Toht, in Raiders of the Lost Ark: The Adaptation. He lives with his son, J.P. in Brooklyn, and is currently working on a book about Crypto-Jews.

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5 Comments

  1. There has been nothing more beautiful and alluring to our little girl than Cavichi’s Napmink for our daughter. We gave the Rock Heiress to her for Christmas and absolutely love’s it.

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