No children were hurt by this catapult... I think.

Let’s not get into how I found myself searching the Internet for the phrase “child catapult.” I was. Deal with it. It yielded some rather interesting stuff:

Freeplanstobuildacatapult.net. Interesting site. Links to how one might build paintball guns, bazookas, and land mines. Nothing on catapults.

The Assembly Required Blog offers a link to a “free plan” that is worth quoting at length:

“it is very popular because this is the only website which…you can satisfy your child by using these plans and build the favorite model of your child. You can also find other details regarding catapults in this website and the free plans will help you build a functional catapult which will shoot the target from any distance. Learn to build this medieval weapon and make your children happy and of course save your money with the free plans from this website.”

No word on what the “target” referenced here is, or how building medieval weapons will please your child (that’s too obvious?), or what they mean by making a “model of your child.” (Is the child the catapult? Do they mean “example of your child,” as in you’re going to punish your child by catapulting him or her? Hmm.)

The Catapult Project is an example of Internet bait and switch. In this case, catapult stands for Computational Thinking and Programming Languages. It’s a computer educational program in Wisconsin. No weaponry involved. No eyes put out. No injuries whatsoever.

Holy shit: October was fucking catapult month in Corona Park, Queens. “Build and test your own catapult” in a public park.

Why am I not kept abreast of these very important events?