By rights, I should let my colleague Matt answer the question posed in this headline. He does, after all, match his pink socks with his pink underwear, and he likes nothing better than being spanked on the ass by five-year-old boys.

But I figured he may be biased on the topic, so I decided to address it myself

First a little context. This question relates to a post in the blog, The Faster Times, and it a real issue.

Apparently, at birth some 70 percent of babies of both genders develop gynecomastia, a.k.a., “transient breast enlargement,” a.k.a. boobs (if my ex had developed this at any point in our marriage, I dare say we would still be together). The condition usual recedes quickly, and again, as Matt pointed out, no one can tell the difference between boys and girls at that age, it’s no big dea..

It does, however, recur in a small percentage of young men entering puberty. Again, it tends go away within 18 months, but still it’s traumatic for both the boy and the parents, brains get warped, dumb questions get asked of doctors, etc. Fine and dandy. Another medical condition I’ve never heard of. Is there a point?

Perhaps. One could say that making a fuss over difference in children can negatively impact their psychological health. Or perhaps as a society, concerns regarding variance in body shape should be reckoned with. I could make a cute little confessionary move about how I would feel scandalized if JP grew tits, then undercut that with a sensitive thought about how it all doesn’t really matter, that I love him either way, which has the benefit of being effective rhetorically, and in JP’s case, so long as he can hit the curveball in little league, true.

Or I can just answer the fricking question. No, if you have manboobs you don’t have to wear a man bra. Jackass.