So, last night I’m at a friend’s book party in one of those unbelievable Chelsea lofts—the kind that seem to employ some Tardis-like technology for allowing small-seeming buildings to encompass infinite space—when I am approached by a towheaded 5-year-old. He’s raging on sugar or adrenaline, scampering around the room in full knowledge that he’s fucking …
Monthly Archives: December 2009
Deck the Malls
Quite by accident, we found ourselves at the Aventura Mall yesterday just north of Miami. Wedged between the yacht-ridden Intracoastal Waterway and the Turnberry Isle Resort and Golf Club, it is a vast citadel of shopping, a gilded pimple on the ass of debt-laden America. Exactly the kind of mall experience we were glad to …
Preschoolers love disaster!
DadWagon has previously (and correctly) defended the right of children to be as annoying as adults on airplanes, but my 3-year-old girl has developed a new kind of menacing behavior on commercial flights: a loud and verbal curiosity about airplane disasters. It’s not that she’s worried. Quite the contrary. She has her fears, though they …
Madonna Wants Your Baby!
Quick–Third World Mothers: HIDE YOUR FRICKING BABIES!!! Madonna still may be in the market for little ones to abduct adopt, and Lord knows she likes ’em cheap. Here, via, Babble, is a rundown on Madonna and the evil dwarves who come in the night to TAKE YOUR CHILDREN: “I’m really proud of the work that …