JP’s mother and I just signed him up to be tested for the city’s Gifted and Talent program. Next month, on a Sunday, we’ll take him to the public school around the corner (the one he wasn’t able to get into for Pre-K), where world famous educators will spend a couple of hours prodding him wires, asking trick questions in pig Latin, and making him do jumping jacks.

Do I think JP is gifted, and/or talented? Of course I do! I guess. I mean, as far as I know–he’s never levitated a car, or calculated Pi to 4500 numbers. He’s never even read my mind.

He is, however, an exceedingly sweet boy, who appears to have a facility with numbers, a good memory, likes to sing, wants to read (that hasn’t happened yet), enjoys drawing, pulling the dog’s tail, and soccer. Who knows what his abilities really are? I think he can do just about anything he likes, but obviously I’m biased; but if he can, he should at the very least start making his bed and cooking a proper omelet (I like mine with mushrooms, please).

I find the notion of the testing a stress, really. Does he need to be judged and evaluated at age four? Shouldn’t he learn how to wipe his own butt before we predict his academic level?

I know, I know, testing isn’t destiny, and getting into the G&T program gives him access to the best free schools in the city. It just brings out the protect instinct in me.

Maybe I can help him cheat on the test. That oughta help.

Assuming I can pass.