Skate Lessons, or Why Matt Should Raise My Son

To my great surprise, JP asked for a skateboard for his sixth birthday this year, which was at the end of last month. Great surprise, I say, because he’s never expressed any interest in skateboarding before, I don’t skateboard, and as far as I know, none of his close friends skateboard. But he wanted it, I couldn’t think of any reason he shouldn’t have it, and so I bought him one, at this store in Brooklyn called, for some reason, Hommage.

Only problem with said gift is that skating is relatively dangerous and I can’t show JP how to do it. So, I took the fateful and gloriously uncool step of arranging for a skate LESSON for JP. This sucks on a variety of levels. First, you shouldn’t be taught how to skate, right? It’s something you master on your own, after much practice and loss of blood and teeth. Second, if you are going to be taught how to do it, shouldn’t the teacher be your father? I’m afraid that is beyond my admittedly limited athletic capacities, even if my arm wasn’t still useless after my bike accident. Thus, professional skate education awaits JP, at $30 a lesson.

Of course, as I understand it, Matt is a skilled skater. Perhaps, with a little encouragement, he could be prevailed upon to show JP a few things, and in the process save me some dough and alleviate the need of the skate dudes at the skate shop knowing that I can’t skate. I’d never think to ask Matt such a thing, but maybe, just maybe, he’ll think of it himself.

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About Theodore

Theodore Ross is an editor of Harper’s Magazine. His writing has appeared in Harper’s, Saveur, Tin House, the Mississippi Review, and (of course), the Vietnam News. He grew up in New York City by way of Gulfport, MS, and as a teen played the evil Nazi, Toht, in Raiders of the Lost Ark: The Adaptation. He lives with his son, J.P. in Brooklyn, and is currently working on a book about Crypto-Jews.

2 thoughts on “Skate Lessons, or Why Matt Should Raise My Son

  1. skating is kind of unique as far as sports go – i don’t think many a skater ever got a lesson from your dad. its a somewhat outlawish activity – it would be like teaching your kid to write graffiti or slam dance. i think its something best learned from the slightly older kid down the block – the one with shaggy hair, a bad attitude and who inevitably also introduce your child to less positive activities down the road. just the way of things i guess.

  2. I disagree about letting the kid up the street teach your 6 year old anything. Maybe it’s because I’m a 24 year old dad and know how to skate board, but I think you should put you kid on a board when he/she is 2 and hold his hands. Now that your little one is 6 there really isn’t much to it as far as riding around. Are there skate parks in NY? Here in CA they are all over and the kids will meet other kids and teach each other new tricks. It’s interesting to watch. Then they end up getting the bad attitudes as time goes on as is the culture of skate boarding.

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